As I was standing outside this morning the sky was blue, yet gentle rain was falling on me. In my reflections of the past year, I couldn't help tear up thinking about the loss of my loved ones. I felt they heard me and their teardrops were falling from Heaven. It stopped my tears and made me smile.
Rather than wallow in sadness thinking about past memories, and future ones we'll never make together, I vow to honor my loved ones by dedicating each book I write to one of them. They've all touched me in special ways and each one contributed something to the person I am.
My story ideas feel like the horses at Belmont waiting for the bell to ring and the gate to go up so they could sprint down the track. This time getting to the finish line won't take three years, like it did with Fractured Facade. Although cathartic, it was painful to relive over and over again. I'm thankful to all the readers who have given me such positive feedback. It's validation that I haven't wasted my time.
Although I'm not a bestselling author, yet, I'm grateful I had the opportunity to share my story by self-publishing and chose not to kowtow to the "rules." I make my own rules, and if I fail, I have no one to blame but myself.
If 2011 taught me anything, it's to not listen to other people. Go with your instincts. Take chances. Don't be afraid to expose yourself. And if people don't support you, and don't bring anything positive to your table, cut them out of your life. They'll only fill you with self-doubt and bring you down.
My mantra for 2012 is Reach for the Stars! If you don't, you'll never know what you're capable of. My wish to all of you is to do the same...
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
Today my daughter turns 18. I've heard the countdown for weeks now. She's very excited because she said she can now do all the things she couldn't do before. When I asked exactly what that entailed, she responded with the following:
1. I can drive past midnight. (True, but she still has our midnight driving curfew!)
2. I can have more than one under 18 passenger.
3. I can stay at Valley View past 6:00pm.
4. I can play with the puppies at the mall.
5. I can carry pepper spray.
I can live with that list, and am thankful she didn't add, buy cigarettes, lottery tickets, or get a tattoo!
Anyone who reads this blog knows how proud I am of her. I am blessed to have a daughter like her. Happy Birthday Baby...no matter how old you get, you're always going to be our little girl, but remember legally I'm no longer "responsible" for you, so here's some motherly advice:
Make sure your future decisions are wise and stay out of trouble with the law.
Listen to your inner voice. If something doesn't feel "right" it probably isn't.
Don't do anything just to "fit in." Be a leader, not a follower.
Not that I think you would, but never get a tattoo in a place where it would stop you from getting a good job. Remember they might look "cool" when you're young, but twenty years from now they won't. And if you do get one, make sure it's never a man's name! You'll feel stuck with him forever.
In fact, never, never make a man your center of attention.
Make sure you could always support yourself without any man's help.
Don't rush into having babies, especially to "keep a man." That never works, it's not fair to the children, and you will miss out on your life. When the time is right for you to become a mother, hopefully after you're well established and have done quite a bit of travelling, remember the children always come first.
If a man ever talks down to you, tries to stop you from seeing your family and friends, or dares to put his hands on you, run, don't walk away. And then call me and Daddy! No matter how old you get, we'll always be there for you, as long as you allow us to be part of your life.
Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. The stars are there for everyone, just don't expect to be handed one, reach for them!
Value true friendships, they're hard to come by, and deserve to be kept. But, if someone hurts you intentionally, move on. Their loss.
May the rest of your life be filled with smiles like the one you're sporting here...
1. I can drive past midnight. (True, but she still has our midnight driving curfew!)
2. I can have more than one under 18 passenger.
3. I can stay at Valley View past 6:00pm.
4. I can play with the puppies at the mall.
5. I can carry pepper spray.
I can live with that list, and am thankful she didn't add, buy cigarettes, lottery tickets, or get a tattoo!
Anyone who reads this blog knows how proud I am of her. I am blessed to have a daughter like her. Happy Birthday Baby...no matter how old you get, you're always going to be our little girl, but remember legally I'm no longer "responsible" for you, so here's some motherly advice:
Make sure your future decisions are wise and stay out of trouble with the law.
Listen to your inner voice. If something doesn't feel "right" it probably isn't.
Don't do anything just to "fit in." Be a leader, not a follower.
Not that I think you would, but never get a tattoo in a place where it would stop you from getting a good job. Remember they might look "cool" when you're young, but twenty years from now they won't. And if you do get one, make sure it's never a man's name! You'll feel stuck with him forever.
In fact, never, never make a man your center of attention.
Make sure you could always support yourself without any man's help.
Don't rush into having babies, especially to "keep a man." That never works, it's not fair to the children, and you will miss out on your life. When the time is right for you to become a mother, hopefully after you're well established and have done quite a bit of travelling, remember the children always come first.
If a man ever talks down to you, tries to stop you from seeing your family and friends, or dares to put his hands on you, run, don't walk away. And then call me and Daddy! No matter how old you get, we'll always be there for you, as long as you allow us to be part of your life.
Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. The stars are there for everyone, just don't expect to be handed one, reach for them!
Value true friendships, they're hard to come by, and deserve to be kept. But, if someone hurts you intentionally, move on. Their loss.
May the rest of your life be filled with smiles like the one you're sporting here...
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Two Views
The view from my friend's apartment in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn...love the Verrazano Bridge.
The view from my house in Roanoke, Virginia...love the mountains.
So different, both beautiful. I'm fortunate I can straddle both...
The view from my house in Roanoke, Virginia...love the mountains.
So different, both beautiful. I'm fortunate I can straddle both...
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
No Free Ride Here
Well, our, I mean my daughter's, hopes for a full scholarship to Roanoke College were dashed when nestled amongst the Christmas cards was a Congratulations! letter informing the girl she had been awarded an additional $2,000. The professor who interviewed her wrote in his remarks that she was "a good person." I thought that was an odd thing to write. How would he know that after a five minute interview and her sitting quietly in his class? I snickered at that statement, she snickered at the amount. Then the girl rolled the letter into a telescope, held it to her eye, looked through it and said, "There goes Roanoke College...bye bye!"
Although the total award she would receive would amount to $20,000 per year, that is not nearly enough. That's less than half of what she would need. Writing those last two sentences hurt. Sorry, but no college is worth paying that amount of money per year. And one where her original broadcast, communications and/or graphic design major would have had to be replaced by history, it's doubly not worth it. Yeah, she's a history buff, and wanted to learn Italian, but what employment opportunities, besides teaching, which she's not interested in, would a $100,000+ degree in those two fields offer, and, be worth? Can you imagine paying full tuition for that? Well, I can't.
I would rather the girl attend Virginia Western for web & graphic design than saddle her with enormous student loans for a history degree. I would prefer spending my hard earned money setting her up in her own media business. I've seen her work, she's totally capable, and with more real-life experience, and not just a piece of paper telling the world she's "smart" can dominate the field. You might need that degree to get your foot in the door, but once you're in, it's not as important as excelling in your field. Heck, I never needed a degree, and I've accomplished more in my life than most people I know with degrees. But, I hear nowadays things are different, and we all want what's best for our children, so I won't stand in her way.
But, I think my plan is a better plan for her future. I've offered to buy her a Mac along with all the programs she'll need. It's expensive, but I feel it's a good investment in her, and a good opportunity for her. It's up to her to make it work. Meanwhile, with all the credits she already has from dual enrollment classes and passing AP exams, she'll have plenty of time to be able to take on a part time job as well.
Now, I know she was disappointed as she really liked Roanoke College's campus, and had she been granted enough money to attend without putting her in debt, she would have probably have gone there. What I liked most about it was that it was close to home. Frankly, I think it was more a "prestige" thing for her than anything else. I told her she should be proud of herself that she did get accepted, and not get down on herself just because she can't afford to go there. It took her about a day to lick her wounds, and I didn't let on that I was secretly glad her master plan had been thwarted. When she marched down the hall and informed me she was totally on board with this new plan, I just nodded my head. I always knew she'd be.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, if it's meant to be, it will be, so Roanoke College wasn't meant to be. Besides, in our family we never get anything handed to us. We have to work for everything, but we're tough, we know how to adapt, and everything happens for a reason. In the end, she's probably going to wind up back in New York City anyway. The salaries, and shopping, are better there...
Although the total award she would receive would amount to $20,000 per year, that is not nearly enough. That's less than half of what she would need. Writing those last two sentences hurt. Sorry, but no college is worth paying that amount of money per year. And one where her original broadcast, communications and/or graphic design major would have had to be replaced by history, it's doubly not worth it. Yeah, she's a history buff, and wanted to learn Italian, but what employment opportunities, besides teaching, which she's not interested in, would a $100,000+ degree in those two fields offer, and, be worth? Can you imagine paying full tuition for that? Well, I can't.
I would rather the girl attend Virginia Western for web & graphic design than saddle her with enormous student loans for a history degree. I would prefer spending my hard earned money setting her up in her own media business. I've seen her work, she's totally capable, and with more real-life experience, and not just a piece of paper telling the world she's "smart" can dominate the field. You might need that degree to get your foot in the door, but once you're in, it's not as important as excelling in your field. Heck, I never needed a degree, and I've accomplished more in my life than most people I know with degrees. But, I hear nowadays things are different, and we all want what's best for our children, so I won't stand in her way.
But, I think my plan is a better plan for her future. I've offered to buy her a Mac along with all the programs she'll need. It's expensive, but I feel it's a good investment in her, and a good opportunity for her. It's up to her to make it work. Meanwhile, with all the credits she already has from dual enrollment classes and passing AP exams, she'll have plenty of time to be able to take on a part time job as well.
Now, I know she was disappointed as she really liked Roanoke College's campus, and had she been granted enough money to attend without putting her in debt, she would have probably have gone there. What I liked most about it was that it was close to home. Frankly, I think it was more a "prestige" thing for her than anything else. I told her she should be proud of herself that she did get accepted, and not get down on herself just because she can't afford to go there. It took her about a day to lick her wounds, and I didn't let on that I was secretly glad her master plan had been thwarted. When she marched down the hall and informed me she was totally on board with this new plan, I just nodded my head. I always knew she'd be.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, if it's meant to be, it will be, so Roanoke College wasn't meant to be. Besides, in our family we never get anything handed to us. We have to work for everything, but we're tough, we know how to adapt, and everything happens for a reason. In the end, she's probably going to wind up back in New York City anyway. The salaries, and shopping, are better there...
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Sample Sunday - Stroufflers & Memories
Since we've been talking about stroufflers and memories so much around here lately, I thought I'd make this a Sample Sunday and post a passage from my eBook Fractured Facade, covering both...
"When we got back to the “fake” home, Josephina brought over some home-baked Italian fig cookies. They reminded me of my mother. Nothing said Christmas more than the warm comforting smell of my mother’s cookies baking. One of the few times we didn’t fight was when we stood side by side mixing dough. My mother might not have taught me anything academically, but she taught me how to cook and bake. Our favorite Christmas tradition was making stroufflers together.
Mom would create a well in the center of six cups of flour, and crack six eggs into it saying, “If you don’t mix it by hand, it won’t come out right.” We’d take turns kneading the yellow dough until it became smooth and shiny. Fistfuls of dough were grabbed and rolled into long snakes on a cutting board. With a quick moving knife small pieces were cut. Each pillow mint shaped piece, hundreds of them, would be fashioned into a small ball and dropped into a huge pot of hot oil. They bobbed on top of the surface, tossed and turned by a slotted spoon, until they turned a light golden brown. A brown paper bag was the best way, and according to Mom the only way, to sop up the excess oil from each ball. Another huge pot filled with honey and sugar simmered on the stove. Each ball would be dumped into the honey, and with a wooden spoon my mother gently stirred. Once covered with honey, we’d ladle the balls into a huge glass bowl, one of the many bowls that had disappeared sometime after mom died, and sprinkle them with rainbow nonpareils. It would take all day to make one batch, which barely lasted through Christmas Day.
The last time my mother and I made stroufflers together was the year I discovered you shouldn’t put cold water into hot oil to clean the pot. The stains from the explosion remain on the kitchen ceiling. As I looked at the spotty ceiling, recalling my messy mistake, I remembered that day was also the last time I got hit with the wooden spoon, a honey-covered one. Whispers of red fuzz from my sweater had mingled with the colorful candies still left on the spoon. It hadn’t hurt physically -- it was more of a tap -- but the quick strike damaged our kitchen relationship. I swore I would never bake with my mother again. I never did. I wish I had."
"When we got back to the “fake” home, Josephina brought over some home-baked Italian fig cookies. They reminded me of my mother. Nothing said Christmas more than the warm comforting smell of my mother’s cookies baking. One of the few times we didn’t fight was when we stood side by side mixing dough. My mother might not have taught me anything academically, but she taught me how to cook and bake. Our favorite Christmas tradition was making stroufflers together.
Mom would create a well in the center of six cups of flour, and crack six eggs into it saying, “If you don’t mix it by hand, it won’t come out right.” We’d take turns kneading the yellow dough until it became smooth and shiny. Fistfuls of dough were grabbed and rolled into long snakes on a cutting board. With a quick moving knife small pieces were cut. Each pillow mint shaped piece, hundreds of them, would be fashioned into a small ball and dropped into a huge pot of hot oil. They bobbed on top of the surface, tossed and turned by a slotted spoon, until they turned a light golden brown. A brown paper bag was the best way, and according to Mom the only way, to sop up the excess oil from each ball. Another huge pot filled with honey and sugar simmered on the stove. Each ball would be dumped into the honey, and with a wooden spoon my mother gently stirred. Once covered with honey, we’d ladle the balls into a huge glass bowl, one of the many bowls that had disappeared sometime after mom died, and sprinkle them with rainbow nonpareils. It would take all day to make one batch, which barely lasted through Christmas Day.
The last time my mother and I made stroufflers together was the year I discovered you shouldn’t put cold water into hot oil to clean the pot. The stains from the explosion remain on the kitchen ceiling. As I looked at the spotty ceiling, recalling my messy mistake, I remembered that day was also the last time I got hit with the wooden spoon, a honey-covered one. Whispers of red fuzz from my sweater had mingled with the colorful candies still left on the spoon. It hadn’t hurt physically -- it was more of a tap -- but the quick strike damaged our kitchen relationship. I swore I would never bake with my mother again. I never did. I wish I had."
Melancholy Christmas
The older I get, the sadder Christmas seems to become. The memories and traditions I used to treasure have become tortuous reminders of those loved ones I have lost. Baking, cooking, shopping, a television show, a movie, a song, a smell of the season -- joys in the past -- now merely fill me with nostalgic melancholy. I miss the people I once shared my traditions with. Frankly, it's painful.
So, what's one to do? Just bury the traditions along with our loved ones, or, do we honor our loved ones by keeping them going? Today, although I was gearing towards the former, in the end I chose the latter.
As I slid the March of the Wooden Soldiers DVD into the player I thanked my cousin JP for his gift. When I received two copies last Christmas, his was the one I opened. We watched it together 500 miles apart, and spent the next 77 minutes texting each other memorable lines. I longed to watch it with him again this year but knew if I texted him I would receive no response. Instead of sharing it with my dear cousin, my husband stepped up to the plate (no amount of cajoling could convince the kids to join me) and sat with me while I chose the black & white version.
As the opening credits rolled I said up to the sky with a toast of a glass, "I hope you're watching this with me. I'm gonna continue our tradition, so gimme a sign you're with me. Miss you." The opening credits came to a close and my phone rang. It was JP's sister. Message received.
The ending was always our favorite part. The cheesy effects were overlooked, and the over-the-top acting was actually enhanced, by the memorable music that gave us goosebumps, and today, tears to my eyes. If only we all had a wooden soldier locked away that could rescue us in what seems to be our most dire days. We do. We just got to let him out.
Maybe it's crazy, but it's the little things like this that save Christmas for me. And to think I had about given up on it.
So, what's one to do? Just bury the traditions along with our loved ones, or, do we honor our loved ones by keeping them going? Today, although I was gearing towards the former, in the end I chose the latter.
As I slid the March of the Wooden Soldiers DVD into the player I thanked my cousin JP for his gift. When I received two copies last Christmas, his was the one I opened. We watched it together 500 miles apart, and spent the next 77 minutes texting each other memorable lines. I longed to watch it with him again this year but knew if I texted him I would receive no response. Instead of sharing it with my dear cousin, my husband stepped up to the plate (no amount of cajoling could convince the kids to join me) and sat with me while I chose the black & white version.
As the opening credits rolled I said up to the sky with a toast of a glass, "I hope you're watching this with me. I'm gonna continue our tradition, so gimme a sign you're with me. Miss you." The opening credits came to a close and my phone rang. It was JP's sister. Message received.
The ending was always our favorite part. The cheesy effects were overlooked, and the over-the-top acting was actually enhanced, by the memorable music that gave us goosebumps, and today, tears to my eyes. If only we all had a wooden soldier locked away that could rescue us in what seems to be our most dire days. We do. We just got to let him out.
Maybe it's crazy, but it's the little things like this that save Christmas for me. And to think I had about given up on it.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Strouffler Time
It's that time of the year to bring out the Strouffler recipe...got everything except the brown paper bags...heading out again!
6 eggs
4 cups flour
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 cup sugar
3 tbs Crisco
Mix flour, baking powder and sugar. Add Crisco. Make a well in the middle and put eggs into it. Mix together until smooth. Make long snakes, cut into pieces, then roll by hand into balls. Make them small -- they expand!
Fry them in tall pot in Crisco. Place cooked balls on a brown paper bag.
In a large pot heat a jar of honey with a 1/4 cup sugar. Stir until thin. Throw balls into them, mix with wooden spoon to cover all of the balls. Then plate and sprinkle with nonpareils.
Enjoy and Merry Christmas!
6 eggs
4 cups flour
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 cup sugar
3 tbs Crisco
Mix flour, baking powder and sugar. Add Crisco. Make a well in the middle and put eggs into it. Mix together until smooth. Make long snakes, cut into pieces, then roll by hand into balls. Make them small -- they expand!
Fry them in tall pot in Crisco. Place cooked balls on a brown paper bag.
In a large pot heat a jar of honey with a 1/4 cup sugar. Stir until thin. Throw balls into them, mix with wooden spoon to cover all of the balls. Then plate and sprinkle with nonpareils.
Enjoy and Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Roanoke Rocks!
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a wee bit worried that we would be able to pull off last night's NYC...Live in Roanoke! event. Having been around musicians most of my life I know they could sometimes be, ummmm, undependable. So as we got closer to the date and I heard reports that this one wouldn't be coming, and that one couldn't make it, I thought, what happens if no one shows up?!
Well, last night my fears were put to rest. Not only did musicians "show up" but they put on a phenomenal show to a packed, standing room only house. Now keep in mind many of these musicians, probably never heard of, or were even born when the songs I requested were written. But that didn't matter. They got it, and they brought it.
The highlight of the evening for me, besides having a positive response to two videos I produced back in the day, and hearing the audience sing along to "New York, New York" during a video my daughter produced, was when someone came up to me after the show and said, "Who are these bands, and where did you find them? I never heard of them before and had no idea Roanoke had such talent!"
Mission accomplished. My goal was not just to highlight Fractured Facade but to highlight other independent artists, and expose them to a wider audience than what they might normally attract. After hearing them last night, I know I'll be going to their shows, and I hope others who had no idea they "existed" will also.
So without further adieu, here was the rundown...
Daniel Francis Gardner & Mark Beskind. I think Daniel was relieved when I didn't hold him to sing Sid Vicious' version of "My Way!"
Ron Bergeron, putting down the video camera & singing Johnny Thunders' "You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory"
Laker consisting of River Laker, Josa Wakes & Blaine Davis performing "Mother." The lovely Suzanne Fitzgerald swaying...
Josa Wakes performing Patti Smith's "Free Money" and Blondie's "Rip Her to Shreds."
Savannah Shoulders gave me chills when they performed Television's "See No Evil." They should add it to their repertoire! A big thank you for allowing the other musicians to use their equipment as well.
Madrone performed Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer" and "Walk on the Wild Side" by Lou Reed. Now I know why my daughter goes to all their shows.
Keith Bowniece performing Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life." I was a little skeptical at first about an acoustic version, but when Keith's voice rang out, I was hooked.
HeeveHaVa performed two Ramone songs which is equal to one-half of a "normal" song...they nailed "Sniff Some Glue" and "Havana Affair."
I want to personally thank each and every one for sharing their talents. It takes a lot to impress a New Yorker and they did. Thank you to the sound guy as well! By the way, the artists' work will be on display at the library until the New Year, so check it out. There's some great stuff.
I especially want to thank the audience for being so receptive and positive, and River Laker for bringing out the best of Roanoke.
Well, last night my fears were put to rest. Not only did musicians "show up" but they put on a phenomenal show to a packed, standing room only house. Now keep in mind many of these musicians, probably never heard of, or were even born when the songs I requested were written. But that didn't matter. They got it, and they brought it.
The highlight of the evening for me, besides having a positive response to two videos I produced back in the day, and hearing the audience sing along to "New York, New York" during a video my daughter produced, was when someone came up to me after the show and said, "Who are these bands, and where did you find them? I never heard of them before and had no idea Roanoke had such talent!"
Mission accomplished. My goal was not just to highlight Fractured Facade but to highlight other independent artists, and expose them to a wider audience than what they might normally attract. After hearing them last night, I know I'll be going to their shows, and I hope others who had no idea they "existed" will also.
So without further adieu, here was the rundown...
Daniel Francis Gardner & Mark Beskind. I think Daniel was relieved when I didn't hold him to sing Sid Vicious' version of "My Way!"
Ron Bergeron, putting down the video camera & singing Johnny Thunders' "You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory"
Laker consisting of River Laker, Josa Wakes & Blaine Davis performing "Mother." The lovely Suzanne Fitzgerald swaying...
Josa Wakes performing Patti Smith's "Free Money" and Blondie's "Rip Her to Shreds."
Savannah Shoulders gave me chills when they performed Television's "See No Evil." They should add it to their repertoire! A big thank you for allowing the other musicians to use their equipment as well.
Madrone performed Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer" and "Walk on the Wild Side" by Lou Reed. Now I know why my daughter goes to all their shows.
Keith Bowniece performing Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life." I was a little skeptical at first about an acoustic version, but when Keith's voice rang out, I was hooked.
HeeveHaVa performed two Ramone songs which is equal to one-half of a "normal" song...they nailed "Sniff Some Glue" and "Havana Affair."
I want to personally thank each and every one for sharing their talents. It takes a lot to impress a New Yorker and they did. Thank you to the sound guy as well! By the way, the artists' work will be on display at the library until the New Year, so check it out. There's some great stuff.
I especially want to thank the audience for being so receptive and positive, and River Laker for bringing out the best of Roanoke.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Roanoke's Punkapalooza
Script completed and videos delivered. Voice don't fail me now.
Yup, tomorrow night's celebration of independent aritists, and the release of my eBook Fractured Facade, is almost upon us, and the music line-up is amazing. I am so psyched to hear the following renditions...
"My Way" - Daniel Francis Gardener
"You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory" - Ron Bergeron
"Mother" - Laker
"Free Money" - Josa Wakes
"Rip Her To Shreds" - Josa Wakes
"See No Evil" - Savannah Shoulders
"Psycho Killer" - Madrone
"Lust for Life" - Keith Bowniece
"Walk on the Wild Side" - Madrone
"Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue" = HeeVaHaVa
"Christmas Lights" - Matthew John Mortimer
"Feed the World" - Everyone
Maybe instead of NYC...Live in Roanoke!, we should have called this event Roanoke's Punkapalooza!
The only artwork I've seen thus far (besides my photos) is Sam Hensley's "Empire State Building" constructed of VHS tapes, and it's something to behold. Looking forward to seeing other artists' work as well.
Just a couple of changes from what was reported in Mike Allen's Roanoke Times column -- Didn't have time to shoot the skit, there's only 9 bands, and you will be making your own egg creams.
***UPDATE*** - No, you will not be making egg creams, after all. Concerns were expressed, so ice cream from Maggie Moo's is replacing the NYC iconic beverage. That's cool...pizza is from NYC, and Maggie's is from Roanoke...yet, another bridge between the book's settings of Roanoke and New York.
I hope you come out and support Roanoke's independent (insert creative media here) scene. And please do not forget to support our community by bringing a Toy for a Tot and a non-perishable item for the Rescue Mission.
Check out my website www.elenaderosa.com for more details.
Too bad the band that was going to perform Fairytale of New York cannot do it...
"I could've been someone...so could anyone..."
Monday, December 12, 2011
If It's Free, Is It Really A Best Seller?
I've been reading some Kindle Community Boards to see how independent authors who have enrolled with the KDP Select program are faring. It seems to me the "big draw" of the program to many authors is that Amazon allows the book to go free for a couple of days before being put into the lending library. Authors are jumping up and down with joy at all the downloads they have received..."OMG, I can't believe I'm number xx on the (insert genre here) best seller list!!!"
My question is...how can a FREE download put you on a best SELLER list? You haven't sold anything. Your book is free! I can't wrap my brain around that concept. I think it's a ploy, a scheme dreamed up by Amazon to feed the ego of a writer. I know a lot of indy authors disagree with me. They feel that by getting put on a best SELLER list, even if their book is FREE, validates their work. I think it just gives the author more exposure. Numbers are numbers after all. The author's book is brought out of the forest and onto Amazon's front page, instead of the dark woods where a book like Fractured Facade is hidden. And that's a good thing.
But, what happens after the freebie period is over? Now that the book is ranked way up there, does that cause readers to continue to rent it, or more importantly in my view, finally buy it? Do these authors have other books that are not free, that are now being sold because of the exposure? Do these authors charge more than $3.99 for their book, and get it? If so, then maybe their marketing strategy is working, and more power to them. But until the book is bought and winds up on a best SELLING list, I think it would be more accurate to say, "Yay!!! My book is number x on the MOST FREE DOWNLOADED list!!!"
My question is...how can a FREE download put you on a best SELLER list? You haven't sold anything. Your book is free! I can't wrap my brain around that concept. I think it's a ploy, a scheme dreamed up by Amazon to feed the ego of a writer. I know a lot of indy authors disagree with me. They feel that by getting put on a best SELLER list, even if their book is FREE, validates their work. I think it just gives the author more exposure. Numbers are numbers after all. The author's book is brought out of the forest and onto Amazon's front page, instead of the dark woods where a book like Fractured Facade is hidden. And that's a good thing.
But, what happens after the freebie period is over? Now that the book is ranked way up there, does that cause readers to continue to rent it, or more importantly in my view, finally buy it? Do these authors have other books that are not free, that are now being sold because of the exposure? Do these authors charge more than $3.99 for their book, and get it? If so, then maybe their marketing strategy is working, and more power to them. But until the book is bought and winds up on a best SELLING list, I think it would be more accurate to say, "Yay!!! My book is number x on the MOST FREE DOWNLOADED list!!!"
Friday, December 9, 2011
KDP Select & Me Follow Up
Yesterday I wrote a post entitled, KDP Select and Me, which briefly covered independent authors opting into Amazon's Kindle Owners Lending Library.
As expected, message boards, twitter, facebook and blogs were all afire as to if this was the greatest thing since sliced bread to happen to independent authors, or, just another way for Amazon to flex its muscles. The independent community is split. After doing some more research on the program I know I will NOT be opting in.
As I stated yesterday, I have a real problem with the exclusivity clause. Amazon forbids the eBook to be sold anywhere else but with them. That edict not only includes other eRetailers but also on my own site. One of the main points in going independent was that I would have total control of my work. Why would I allow Amazon to dictate where I could offer my book?
Here's the clause..."When you include a Digital Book in KDP Select, you give us the exclusive right to sell and distribute your Digital Book in digital format while your book is in KDP Select. During this period of exclusivity, you cannot sell or distribute, or give anyone else the right to sell or distribute, your Digital Book (or content that is reasonably likely to compete commercially with your Digital Book, diminish its value, or be confused with it), in digital format in any territory where you have rights.
See that bold portion? That pretty much insures that if I chose to write a series of books I would have to opt them all in. If I don't, Amazon could use that as an excuse not to pay. I hadn't even thought about that until another independent author's lawyer brought that to her attention. He advised her if she chose to go in, she'd best go all in.
Now here's the real kicker. It's my understanding, and please correct me if I'm wrong...traditional publishers do not have this exclusivity clause...only independents do!
Amazon whet the appetite of many authors by announcing it would allocate $500,000 for the month of December, and that there would be $6 million allocated for the 2012 year. Ummm, that's still $500,000 per month. Their formula is based upon how many books are opted in, and how many are checked out by Prime Members. First off, Amazon really has no idea how many people are going to opt in, so their dangling the $7,500 royalty if your book is checked out 1,500 times is insane. The more books in, the less the royalty rate will be. And if any independent thinks that someone is going to choose their 99 cent book over a $14.99 best seller, they're insane. Because there's one other major thing I discovered...Prime Members can only check out 12 books a year!!!
Now, isn't it logical that a reader is going to check out an expensive book vs. a cheap one? When that was brought up on different forums, some independent authors said, "People will buy your book then." Ummm, not necessarily. And isn't the whole point of being in this program, and giving up all your rights, is because you think your book will be checked out, and not bought? Others have said the promotion Amazon would give your book would be worth opting in. We'll see.
I had updated yesterday's post to include a post written by Mark Coker from Smashwords. It's worth reading again.
Apple vs. PC.
IPhone vs. Droid.
Kindle vs. Nook
Amazon vs. The World?
As expected, message boards, twitter, facebook and blogs were all afire as to if this was the greatest thing since sliced bread to happen to independent authors, or, just another way for Amazon to flex its muscles. The independent community is split. After doing some more research on the program I know I will NOT be opting in.
As I stated yesterday, I have a real problem with the exclusivity clause. Amazon forbids the eBook to be sold anywhere else but with them. That edict not only includes other eRetailers but also on my own site. One of the main points in going independent was that I would have total control of my work. Why would I allow Amazon to dictate where I could offer my book?
Here's the clause..."When you include a Digital Book in KDP Select, you give us the exclusive right to sell and distribute your Digital Book in digital format while your book is in KDP Select. During this period of exclusivity, you cannot sell or distribute, or give anyone else the right to sell or distribute, your Digital Book (or content that is reasonably likely to compete commercially with your Digital Book, diminish its value, or be confused with it), in digital format in any territory where you have rights.
See that bold portion? That pretty much insures that if I chose to write a series of books I would have to opt them all in. If I don't, Amazon could use that as an excuse not to pay. I hadn't even thought about that until another independent author's lawyer brought that to her attention. He advised her if she chose to go in, she'd best go all in.
Now here's the real kicker. It's my understanding, and please correct me if I'm wrong...traditional publishers do not have this exclusivity clause...only independents do!
Amazon whet the appetite of many authors by announcing it would allocate $500,000 for the month of December, and that there would be $6 million allocated for the 2012 year. Ummm, that's still $500,000 per month. Their formula is based upon how many books are opted in, and how many are checked out by Prime Members. First off, Amazon really has no idea how many people are going to opt in, so their dangling the $7,500 royalty if your book is checked out 1,500 times is insane. The more books in, the less the royalty rate will be. And if any independent thinks that someone is going to choose their 99 cent book over a $14.99 best seller, they're insane. Because there's one other major thing I discovered...Prime Members can only check out 12 books a year!!!
Now, isn't it logical that a reader is going to check out an expensive book vs. a cheap one? When that was brought up on different forums, some independent authors said, "People will buy your book then." Ummm, not necessarily. And isn't the whole point of being in this program, and giving up all your rights, is because you think your book will be checked out, and not bought? Others have said the promotion Amazon would give your book would be worth opting in. We'll see.
I had updated yesterday's post to include a post written by Mark Coker from Smashwords. It's worth reading again.
Apple vs. PC.
IPhone vs. Droid.
Kindle vs. Nook
Amazon vs. The World?
Thursday, December 8, 2011
KDP Select and Me
When I initially heard stirrings that Amazon would be allowing independent authors another way to introduce their books, via the Kindle's Owner Lending Library, thus far only containing a limited choice of ebooks, I thought, "What a great opportunity!" Besides getting more exposure, the authors would also get paid.
According to the press release , based on a monthly $500,000 fund, it works like this -- "The monthly royalty payment for each KDP Select book is based on that book's share of the total number of borrows of all participating KDP books in the Kindle Owners' Lending Library. For example, if total borrows of all participating KDP Select books are 100,000 in December and an author's book was borrowed 1,500 times, they will earn $7,500 in additional royalties from KDP Select in December."
So what's the catch? The catch is in order to opt in, the author must give Amazon sole rights to their ebook for at least 90 days. Since Fractured Facade is in the Smashword Premium Catalogue, it's distributed to many other eRetailers. I've actually had more sales on Smashwords than Amazon, so I'm not keen on killing that audience. Maybe if I had a couple of novellas out there I'd give it a spin, but I don't. Besides, I'm still launching. Maybe in six months, I'll feel differently.
I'd register in a heartbeat, if I didn't have to hand over all my rights to Amazon. If Apple, Barnes & Noble, or any eRetailer, would offer something similar, without the same demands, I'd probably opt in.
Thoughts?
***Update***
Some thoughts from Smashword's Mark Coker - Amazon Shows Predatory Spots With KDP Select
According to the press release , based on a monthly $500,000 fund, it works like this -- "The monthly royalty payment for each KDP Select book is based on that book's share of the total number of borrows of all participating KDP books in the Kindle Owners' Lending Library. For example, if total borrows of all participating KDP Select books are 100,000 in December and an author's book was borrowed 1,500 times, they will earn $7,500 in additional royalties from KDP Select in December."
So what's the catch? The catch is in order to opt in, the author must give Amazon sole rights to their ebook for at least 90 days. Since Fractured Facade is in the Smashword Premium Catalogue, it's distributed to many other eRetailers. I've actually had more sales on Smashwords than Amazon, so I'm not keen on killing that audience. Maybe if I had a couple of novellas out there I'd give it a spin, but I don't. Besides, I'm still launching. Maybe in six months, I'll feel differently.
I'd register in a heartbeat, if I didn't have to hand over all my rights to Amazon. If Apple, Barnes & Noble, or any eRetailer, would offer something similar, without the same demands, I'd probably opt in.
Thoughts?
***Update***
Some thoughts from Smashword's Mark Coker - Amazon Shows Predatory Spots With KDP Select
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Brother, Sister, Can You Spare a Review?
I had originally planned on having a video shown at the NYC...Live in Roanoke! event in which I show a day in the life of an independent author. I wrote the script, and although humorous and over-the-top, it has a ring of truth to it. Picture me wearing a sandwich board with my book's info on it, running up and down the streets of Roanoke, sped up ala Benny Hill, me ringing a bell ala Monty Python's "Bring Out Your Dead" begging people to buy my book. Exhausted, I would collapse on a bench and then a person would strike up a conversation with me debating if an eBook qualifies as a "real" book or not. It's funny stuff, if I do say so myself, but I just don't have the time to make it happen before next week. It's tongue-in-cheek, but in actuality, the scenario has a ring of truth. No, I'm not walking up and down the streets ringing a bell, but when you're an independent author, it's something you almost have to do in order to get recognized.
Besides writing an interesting book and pricing it fairly, marketing and promotion is one of the most important aspects in being a success. And the goal of marketing and promotion is being "discovered" in the virtual bookstores by people I don't know. I have my author pages. I have my Facebook page. I have my book trailer, which is right up there on Smashwords, but on Amazon, the trailer is only on the author page and not on the main site where Fractured Facade is offered, so it doesn't do much good there. So how does one get discovered on Amazon?
Unfortunately because of the title of my book, when you search for it three other books show up on the page, all of which are about the front of buildings. My "facade" is not about an actual building, but about the hidden nature of people who pretend to be someone they're not. So how would a potential reader know that? According to what I've read it's by the "tags" and reviews that are left on the site. The tags are one word descriptions of the book that people click on if they agree with it.
Most important are the reviews left. It's my understanding that at least ten reviews have to be left before the book gets put into search results. I don't know if that's true or not, but that's what I heard. So far I have three five-star reviews, not too shabby, but well under the magical number of ten. So I am here today, ringing my bell, asking you for yet another favor...Brother, Sister, can you spare a review?
I know it's a pain in the butt, and frankly if I could just cut and paste some of the private messages I have received and posted them on Smashwords, Amazon & Barnes & Noble, I would. Here's just a couple...
"bought your book read it in one day, a first for me. last book i read was "summer of 42" in Mr. geneve's class at NUHS. i connected with much that you said, and spoke of..."
"...I have been wanting to write to you to tell you how much your book hit a nerve with me - so many of the situations were very close to home for me. Is it growing up in Brooklyn in an Italian family that makes so many things so similar? However, all the dysfunctional stuff that goes on in families - guess we all have our skeletons. There were so many things I can relate to - was a very emotional time for me as I read the book and discussed it with my husband and boys. I give you soooo much credit for writing it and don't know how you were able to get through it - truly a labor of love. You have so much to be proud of and I wish you much success in the future; you truly deserve to be published!..."
"...Just finished reading your book - wow!..."
"Bravo! I just finished Fractured Facade and must tell you that the entire time I was reading, I felt like a very good friend was telling me her story. The book is so alive I felt like the story of Marie was actually happening to me. You kept me guessing as to what was real and what might have been fiction. In the end, I surmised that it had all really happened to you and that you only had to change the names. Also, I cried at the end at your lamentations on wishing things could have been said or done differently with your parents. We all have those wishes. There are many lessons to be learned from your book. I like the cavalier way that you faced each situation dealing with the death. I like that you taught us to be careful because evil in people truly does exist when it comes to money. I hope you write another book because I will snap it up immediately..."
Those are just four...there are more, and every single one fills me with such gratitude. And I hate asking for more help, but if you are the author of those wonderful comments, please consider leaving them as a review on the site where you bought the book, whether it be Amazon, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, wherever. And if you would, click on the tags on Amazon as well as that would really help too.
As you might or might not know, I also have a small business for the last 16 years, and I quickly discovered that spending money on advertising was a waste of time. The best way to be successful is providing a good service, having a good product, and most importantly, word of mouth recommendations. Needless to say, I would be most grateful for your loud shouting! By the way, if you bought the book from Smashwords you can leave a review there and on Amazon. Copy and paste is your friend ;)
Thanks guys and dolls!
Besides writing an interesting book and pricing it fairly, marketing and promotion is one of the most important aspects in being a success. And the goal of marketing and promotion is being "discovered" in the virtual bookstores by people I don't know. I have my author pages. I have my Facebook page. I have my book trailer, which is right up there on Smashwords, but on Amazon, the trailer is only on the author page and not on the main site where Fractured Facade is offered, so it doesn't do much good there. So how does one get discovered on Amazon?
Unfortunately because of the title of my book, when you search for it three other books show up on the page, all of which are about the front of buildings. My "facade" is not about an actual building, but about the hidden nature of people who pretend to be someone they're not. So how would a potential reader know that? According to what I've read it's by the "tags" and reviews that are left on the site. The tags are one word descriptions of the book that people click on if they agree with it.
Most important are the reviews left. It's my understanding that at least ten reviews have to be left before the book gets put into search results. I don't know if that's true or not, but that's what I heard. So far I have three five-star reviews, not too shabby, but well under the magical number of ten. So I am here today, ringing my bell, asking you for yet another favor...Brother, Sister, can you spare a review?
I know it's a pain in the butt, and frankly if I could just cut and paste some of the private messages I have received and posted them on Smashwords, Amazon & Barnes & Noble, I would. Here's just a couple...
"bought your book read it in one day, a first for me. last book i read was "summer of 42" in Mr. geneve's class at NUHS. i connected with much that you said, and spoke of..."
"...I have been wanting to write to you to tell you how much your book hit a nerve with me - so many of the situations were very close to home for me. Is it growing up in Brooklyn in an Italian family that makes so many things so similar? However, all the dysfunctional stuff that goes on in families - guess we all have our skeletons. There were so many things I can relate to - was a very emotional time for me as I read the book and discussed it with my husband and boys. I give you soooo much credit for writing it and don't know how you were able to get through it - truly a labor of love. You have so much to be proud of and I wish you much success in the future; you truly deserve to be published!..."
"...Just finished reading your book - wow!..."
"Bravo! I just finished Fractured Facade and must tell you that the entire time I was reading, I felt like a very good friend was telling me her story. The book is so alive I felt like the story of Marie was actually happening to me. You kept me guessing as to what was real and what might have been fiction. In the end, I surmised that it had all really happened to you and that you only had to change the names. Also, I cried at the end at your lamentations on wishing things could have been said or done differently with your parents. We all have those wishes. There are many lessons to be learned from your book. I like the cavalier way that you faced each situation dealing with the death. I like that you taught us to be careful because evil in people truly does exist when it comes to money. I hope you write another book because I will snap it up immediately..."
Those are just four...there are more, and every single one fills me with such gratitude. And I hate asking for more help, but if you are the author of those wonderful comments, please consider leaving them as a review on the site where you bought the book, whether it be Amazon, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, wherever. And if you would, click on the tags on Amazon as well as that would really help too.
As you might or might not know, I also have a small business for the last 16 years, and I quickly discovered that spending money on advertising was a waste of time. The best way to be successful is providing a good service, having a good product, and most importantly, word of mouth recommendations. Needless to say, I would be most grateful for your loud shouting! By the way, if you bought the book from Smashwords you can leave a review there and on Amazon. Copy and paste is your friend ;)
Thanks guys and dolls!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Birth Announcement
Remember last year when we found our four deer in rather compromising positions?
Well, it was a fruitful union...
Say hi to Baby Doe and Baby Buck...
The family grows...
Well, it was a fruitful union...
Say hi to Baby Doe and Baby Buck...
The family grows...
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