We've been having this discussion in my house lately. I'm the only one that seems to think calling someone out on a lie is a good idea. I have to tell you I have lost friends and family members doing that, so my family is probably right when they say to "just let it go." I actually have gotten better over the years and don't do it immediately, and sometimes don't even do it at all. It all depends upon the person and if I expect them to lie to me. There are some people that are compulsive liars so what good will it do for me to confront them when they're just gonna lie saying they didn't lie. I will say though, that I may "forgive" but I do not "forget."
We are divided on the "Is it better to be lied to or not?" question. My daughter and I prefer that we are not lied to. We don't need to have our feelings coddled. My son prefers that someone lie to him, to at least "feign interest" as he puts it. What we've been talking about in particular is if my daughter really will receive a Sweet 16 birthday card from her grandmother. The girl's birthday was almost three weeks ago and even though her Uncle came down a couple of days before, oddly enough he didn't bring any Christmas or birthday presents from his mother to her grandchildren. I didn't expect him to, although I have to admit it would have been nice.
The other 10 grandchildren never have a Christmas or birthday overlooked, but for some reason (they're mine) these two kids have yet to get a gift from her. Money's not a problem, anymore, (that's always been the "excuse") since she did a reverse mortgage on her home (against out advice.) My silly husband even thought that maybe, just maybe, she might have sent something down to pay back all the money he's given her, notice I never say loan, to help with her bills. Haha! At least his son, who is her eldest grandchild gets treated well as he said he has to keep turning down money from her, and that she even wants to buy him a car, but since he's in the army he thought it wouldn't be wise right now. I do wish he wouldn't have said that in front of his brother and sister who just exchanged looks and smirks.
Anyway, on the day of my daughter's birthday my husband got a call at the shop from his mother to wish her happy birthday, because obviously where else would a 16 year old girl be that day but under the hood of a car swinging an engine? When my husband asked why she didn't call her at home his mother said she did and we weren't there. Of course, we were there and she didn't call. Call ID, you know. She said she had a card sitting on her dresser and just hadn't gotten around to sending it out to her but she would, and then she could go on a shopping spree. When my husband came home and told her that we all burst out laughing...we know there is no card, there is no money, there is no shopping spree in her future, at least not from her grandmother.
It's become a running joke here every time the mail is delivered and there's no card in the mailbox. "Must've gotten lost in that black hole from Brooklyn, again." Everything important does. And this is one of those instances where I've decided to keep my mouth shut and not call her out. Although I had really hoped she would have stepped up and at least played pretend Grandma to my children since the death of their grandparents, and the banning from a good part of my family (due to my calling the family out) she hasn't. I think she's gotten worse. My husband says it's because she hates him. I say no, because she treats his other two kids and his ex-wife very well. I say it's because she hates me probably because I have called her out in the past. My daughter says she wishes she just wouldn't even say she's sending something when we all know she's not. My son said at least she pretends she gives a shit about my daughter, as he never even gets an acknowledgement, and he wishes just once she would lie to him and pretend she gives a shit about him too.
For me, it all depends on the magnitude of the lie and who it might affect. Most of the time though, I let it go. Who needs the drama?
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