M Train by Patti Smith

Patti Smith - Beacon Theatre - 11/10/15 - Photo by Stephen Cipolla

"It's not so easy writing about nothing." - Patti Smith "M Train"

It's not so easy writing a review about "M Train" either. I picked up Patti Smith's latest memoir hoping the muse she has always been to me would emerge after I read it to inspire and lift me out of my writing doldrum. Instead, I found myself slipping deeper into it, and unable to even write an in-depth review. I decided to just highlight a couple of passages and throw in a couple of thoughts.

"Without noticing, I slip into a light yet lingering malaise. Not a depression, more like a fascination for melancholia, which I turn in my hand as if it were a small planet, streaked in shadow, impossibly blue." - Patti Smith "M Train"

It's hard to reflect on the past while living in a totally different present. And I, the invisible person sitting across from Patti at her favorite cafe, watching her daily routine as she nurses her black coffee, nibbles on brown toast with olive oil, making notes or compiling lists, find myself feeling sort of sad for her. Not for the glimpses into her past which many of us never had a view of before, but for the tales she tells of the present.

Drinking lots of black coffee, opening a can of sardines over the sink for dinner, binging on crime tv shows, and spending a birthday and New Year's Eve alone, seems like a routine not associated with anyone "famous." Even the times she is away from her NYC home traveling around the world it doesn't seem like she's "living the dream."

My cousin, who was friends with her mom Beverly when she was alive, says not to believe it. "That's just what she wants to portray," he says. "She always performs on her birthday and New Year's Eve. And she eats very well, she's friends with a lot of famous chefs. I could go on, so don't go feeling too bad for her." Okay then.

"Not all dreams need to be realized. That was what Fred used to say." - Patti Smith "M Train"

As a devoted fan of hers from the beginning, oh, how I resented Patti when she married Fred "Sonic" Smith,  moved away from music, moved away from NYC, and moved to Michigan. When I was 19, I couldn't understand her throwing away her "rockstar" status to become just a wife and mother. Just a wife and mother. Just a wife and mother. It wasn't until I moved away from NYC to Virginia and became just a wife and mother did I understand "just" was a ridiculous word to use.

"Becoming a parent and being responsible for one’s own blood, a tiny helpless thing shifts our place in our universe. We find we are no longer in the center and our self-preoccupation forcibly dissipates. That is a good thing. One can maintain their ideals, their artistic vision, and sense of self while still relinquishing one’s place in the center. That is how we evolve. That is how we develop a sense of humanity, placing others before ourselves." - Patti Smith answering a question on Goodreads.

After reading "M Train" I feel even worse. Clearly, the days she spent with Fred seem like when Patti was happiest. How could I resent that?

"We want things we cannot have. We seek to reclaim a certain moment, sound, sensation. I want to hear my mother's voice. I want to see my children as children. Hands small, feet swift. Everything changes. Boy grown, father dead, daughter taller than me, weeping from a bad dream. Please stay forever, I say to the things I know. Don't go. Don't grow." - Patti Smith "M Train"

Yes. The wish of many of us...

"All writers are bums, I murmured. May I be counted among you one day." - Patti Smith "M Train"

I don't think Patti has to worry about that. Congrats to her for making the New York Times Bestseller List again, like she did with "Just Kids." Unlike "Just Kids" which focused on the past, "M Train" dips into it. I'd say it's more of a melancholy memoir about nothing extraordinary, written beautifully, and leaving this reader wanting more. The way I see it there's three more books in Patti...2 more memoirs...The Rock 'N Roll Years, The Mothering Years, and a crime novel. The last will be the hardest for her to write, and the first one is the one I want to read most.

Books & Tapes & Notes, Oh My!

If someone other than me told you this next tale you'd probably think they're lying. If you know me, and how my "people" work, you know I'm not.

My Brooklyn basement looks like a library -- a poorly kept, dim-lit, neglected library, containing thousands of books, vhs tapes, magazines and newspapers, most cinema-related. Although I had hoped my brother would have tried to sell them, or at least have been the caretaker, that will never be. I have taken over.





I haven't decided if the best way to sell these is through Amazon, eBay, or make up a website, but I do know I need to get them out of there. Too many have been lost already. Before I was to begin this Herculean task, I invited my cousin to peruse the collection and take whatever he wanted. I know he would be a good steward and my dad always liked him and would love to see his precious books wind up in someone's hands who appreciates them. So, off he went...

 

He picked his books and brought them upstairs. The first book he picked up and glanced through was one about the director, John Ford.  He then began reading aloud something that didn't make sense to me, a list of wallet locations. I thought he was joking, but then he held up a piece of paper that he had found in the book. It was written by my father. It detailed all the locations in the house of where he had hidden money-filled wallets.

If you read Fractured Facade, you may remember a scene where the police state they had found 12 empty wallets. I always doubted those wallets were empty, and I had informed the detective of that. Based on the rummaged-through condition of the house I saw when I arrived, I didn't know if it was the police, or someone else, who emptied those wallets. Reading this note from my dad is validation that I was correct. This isn't the first time I've "heard" from my father.

What I don't understand is why my father would put that note in a John Ford book. Perhaps that was a book by his bedside and got moved downstairs when we began working on the house. That's the only thing that makes sense because I have no link to John Ford. He's not one of my favorite directors and I would never read this book. But what is even stranger is that out of the thousands of books my cousin was drawn to this very one. What are the odds of that happening? Pretty amazing...but, wait, it gets better.

The second book my cousin opened was "The Making of the Wizard of Oz." When he opened that one up typewritten recipes on index cards fell out. Stained and worn, I remember baking with my mother while these cards lay on the kitchen table. They were my favorite cookie recipes. My cousin thought since he was a chef my mother was giving them to him. I told him no, my mom was talking to me through him. She usually doesn't contact me, so this was a big deal. And my mother did not have a love for movies like my father did, so why in the world were they even in that particular book? Again, what are the freaking odds of this happening?

 

My cousin was thinking about exchanging one of the books he had chosen for another, and I told him to keep it and just take whatever else he wanted. Later that evening he called to tell me he was glad he listened to me and kept that book. In it there was an essay from Patti Smith, whom my cousin and I first bonded over many, many years ago. That book was his meant to be with him, as those notes inside the other two were meant to be with me.

You can't make this stuff up...

 

Gone Fishing...

Well, I haven't really gone fishing, but would like to. Whenever I come off a freebie run I feel as if I need a vacation. The preparation time before, and work during the promotion, is a drainer of physical and mental energy. To get the most out of the free weekend I really should still be promoting the hell out of Fractured Facade, but I'm exhausted.

This last run was another success with close to 4,000 copies downloaded. The highest ranking I received was #2 on Family Saga and # 10 in Suspense...not too shabby. The biggest surprise was the hundreds downloaded in the UK. I do believe the one five-star review I received from the last promotion really helped. Germany was on the chart as well with 3 copies. I wonder if it was the same 3 readers who downloaded The Valentine's Day Curse during the last promo. Still, no paid sales from either country.

I decided to lower the price to $3.99 to see if I would get more action than the last time when I had it at $4.99. So far, no. In fact, last time I had more copies sold by the second day than I do now! And thus far, no borrows. My 90-day period is up July 2nd and unless my numbers dramatically improve over the next two weeks I will not be re-enrolling Fractured Facade in the exclusive program.

I think people are getting too used to free books. When an Amazon reader sees they can borrow the book, they know  the book is enrolled in Select and that the author has five free promotion days. I fear too many people are just waiting for those free days to happen rather than spend the money buying the book. An author cannot make a living that way. Hey, I download free books, but also buy books as well.

The only way for an author to make money is to write books, books and more books. The most successful authors are those that have many released, especially a series of books. When a reader likes one that they downloaded for free they will search out the rest of the series, and maybe even pay for them. I do not have a series of books. I am not a prolific writer. I do not write in a popular genre...and still don't know what the thrill is of zombies and vampires!

I read somewhere that an author needs to release 4-5 books a year to be successful. Ha! That's not me. Oh, if you want crap, I could do that with one hand on the keyboard, but that's not what I'm after. I just want to tell stories that mean something to me. Those tales take time. And you can't rush them. But there is something I can do to speed the process along. Get off the internet! Well, not totally get off, but definitely decrease my time, especially on Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. All those FB writing groups and blogs about writing and publishing are valuable, however, they can take up too much time and actually hinder the writing process, so it's time for me to step away a bit. Throw a puppy, running a business, insomnia, & exhaustion into the mix, it's no wonder my creative spirit is sapped.

Although I have two books battling each other to "go first," my brain cannot make the simple decision of which one will. Should I deviate from the first two and go with the more popular haunting/supernatural genre, or, spill another New York story? I do believe I need to take some time and clear my head, and rejuvenate my spirit before proceeding.

So yeah, I'm going fishing...

Books - Old & New

I happened to be flipping through channels the other day when I landed on some sort of auction show. Up for bid were two old books. One was a history book that had John Hancock's signature, the other was a first edition of "The Great Gatsby." They each brought in a pretty penny and it got me thinking about my own antique book collection.



It's been quite a while since I dusted them, so figured now was the perfect opportunity to spruce them up, and check out the worth of some of them. I knew I had quite a few first editions, and a couple of books from the 1800's as well. I think the earliest one I have is from 1839, followed by a book of poems from 1863, written by an anti-slavery author. I used to have many more, but about a month after I first moved to Salem, Virginia, the Roanoke River flooded the basement of the house I was renting and destroyed not only my precious books, but all my leather clothing. The clothes wouldn't fit anymore anyway, but I still lament the loss of my antique tomes.

Anyhow, after checking on-line for the worth of some of these books I was quite surprised to find out they are pretty much worthless. I really imagined I was holding gold on my shelves. And maybe I am via the written words inside, but the books are so fragile that I don't want to read them in fear of destroying them.

Well, I won't have to worry about that with my eBook Fractured Facade. I finally received my "business cards" for them. They look cool, don't they...and they hardly take up any shelf space!

Fractured Facade -- Available Now!

I've neglected this blog because I've been here and here, but I'm back baby!

I am thrilled to post that I finally did it...I hit the publish button and Fractured Facade is now available!

It's up and running on Smashwords and can be downloaded to any eReader, phone, or desktop. You can find info on it here or just click the cover on the sidebar. I'm awaiting Amazon to finish publishing before it goes live on their site.

Here's the trailer...



You can sample the book before shelling out $4.99 to purchase it. Hey, that's less than a pack of cigarettes or a fast food meal! If you like what you read, by all means let me know.

Thanks to everyone for their support, especially my family, who have been my constant companions on this crazy journey. You were right, Mommy could do it...

Where Have I Been?

Where have I been? Here and here...Check it out and you'll see I've been busy working on getting my novel, "Fractured Facade" ready to launch!

Three Memoirs and Baba Booey Too!

Over the last couple of weeks I've read three memoirs..."They Call Me Baba Booey" by Gary Dell'Abate, "The Birthday Party - A memoir of survival" by Stanley N. Alpert, and “The Hilliker Curse” - My Pursuit of Women, a memoir, by James Ellroy.

The most enjoyable read was "They Call Me Baba Booey."



Gary Dell'Abate has been the producer for the Howard Stern Show for years, which is probably why he got a book contract. With a built-in audience from Stern's show it's no wonder a publisher jumped on Gary's book. Gary might not have been able to throw a decent first-pitch across home plate at one of his beloved Mets' baseball games, but he did score a home-run with this book.



It's not just about the Howard Stern show but about Gary's life. I love reading books where I can relate to the person writing it as I did with Gary who is just two years younger than I am. Born into an Italian family, we both have the Bensonhurst connection so I enjoyed reading about his experiences during an era when I also grew up, touching on everyday routines, the "crazy" family, and ritual Sunday afternoon dinners.

From an early age Gary was always a hard worker who climbed his way up the success ladder until he settled into his "dream job." Like Gary's father said to him, I also say to my children, "If you find a job you love, you'll always be happy, and it will never feel like you're working."

His upbringing helped create the tough skin one would need to have on Stern's show and shaped who he became, which to me is who he always was, and who I hope he remains as he becomes more successful. Anyway, the book is written well with no need for long superfluous sentences that forces the reader to work too hard. Anyone who grew up in New York in the 70's and beyond will be able to relate to Gary's tales, especially his music lists. All in all, a fun, quick read.

The memoir I read before Gary's book, "The Hiliker Curse" was written by a more famous person, James Ellroy who is most noted for his books "The Black Dahlia" and "LA Confidential," both of which were made into movies. I haven't read either book, but was not a fan of either film.

"The curse" was uttered by Ellroy when he was a young boy towards his mom, "I wish she was dead." She died a couple of months later. Naturally Ellroy had some "issues" because of it, and spent his warped life looking for a "replacement" but not in the way one would think. It was pretty ho-hum overall. I wasn't crazy about his style of writing, but I'm sure fans of his will enjoy this book.

The first book I read was Alperts memoir, "The Birthday Party." The blurb on the jacket, "On January 21, 1998 federal prosecutor Stanley Alpert was kidnapped off the streets of Manhattan. This is the story of what happened next…" attracted me to check out the book. Out of the three, this was the most disappointing book. Even though it was a true story, it didn't ring true. The author seemed too concerned with being politically correct.

He was almost apologetic that he got kidnapped. When writing about his captors it came across as if he “felt bad for them.” At one point the lawyer who "fights big business" even railed against the evil Republicans and big bad oil companies more so than his captors. The dialogue between the kidnappers also did not ring true. I found it hard to believe they would refer to themselves as African Americans.

At one point Alpert recounts what one of the accomplices to the kidnappers said about Alpert, “I already knew from the get go that he was afraid. ‘Cause he’s by himself. They got all these bunch of black people there. The majority of white people, they scared of black people. You know that.” Alpert then declares, “I have a dream that someday we will live in a land where Ramos’s words will have lost all hint of truth.” Is he for real? Of course a white person who has been forced into a car at gunpoint, held captive blindfolded while the kidnappers clear out his bank account all the while threatening to kill him would be scared of black person, especially if the black person is a kidnapper holding a gun!

At the end of the book he writes how the experience has taught him in so many words, to live life to the fullest, buy what you want and not look for a bargain, etc. Okay, agreed, but then ruins it by writing how he bought a car, a Cabrio. “Naturally the Cabrio is fuel efficient and small. I wouldn’t take an SUV if I won it in a raffle.” Huh? His trying way too hard to appeal to a certain audience alienated me.

Crowded Blueberry Shindig

My biggest regret about last night's Blueberry Shindig was that I didn't make it back home in time to see my daughter get inducted into the Beta Club. I've never missed any of her ceremonies and felt terrible that I missed this one. The rest of the family went to support her. She was understanding as to my previous commitment and truthfully I think I missed her presence more than she missed mine.

I was truly appreciative of the handful of friends who had no idea who Jim Minick was but showed up anyway. I was gladdened and surprised to see one member of the Roanoke Valley Pen Women, Ethel Born, author of "From Horse 'n Buggy to Hi-Tech" take the time to show up with her daughter and son-in-law. "I saw your e-mail and I'm here to support you." Thank you Ethel, I won't forget that.

I learned a couple of thing's from last night's events besides the obvious that River Laker is a great promoter -- even though the weather was lousy there was a nice sized crowd --...Roanoke has quite a diverse pool of talent...Author reading events can be fun...After the first laugh from the audience any stage fright one had will be gone...If I was younger and didn't have a book to finish I think I might have liked to become a stand-up comedian...Never, never, never enter a blueberry pie eating contest if they don't allow utensils.



A good time was had by all although Jim Minick might be thinking, "Well, River said it was going to be an over-the-top event..."

Over-The-Top Blueberry Shindig

It's amazing how a sentence could look fantastic on paper, stupendous when read in one's mind, but sound like crap when spoken aloud. I discovered this last night as I gathered my family together and read them my critique of Jim Minick's, "The Blueberry Years" for the Over-The-Top Blueberry Shindig being held next Tuesday night at 6:30pm at the Roanoke Library.

Ack! Some words put together just do not roll off the tongue naturally. Say "rural reader" aloud and tell me you don't sound like Scooby Doo. Now say it three times in a row out loud. Here's your Scooby snack.

Not only do some of the words not sound pleasant to my ear, but there are just too darn many of them. Heck, if I don't edit this piece down my presentation will be longer than Minick's!

Anyway, I hope you can come to the event where you can...Watch me shake in fear of speaking in front of a crowd! Watch me mangle the English language! Watch me embarrass myself! And then enjoy the rest of the festivities.

No, Lady Gaga won't be there singing "Blueberry Kisses"...

Platform Rise, Talent Dies

I started off this week with a bang then quickly ran into responsibility roadblocks. My rewrite had to take a back seat to doctors, drugs -- their compatibility, reactions, side effects -- insurance companies, insurance agents, state laws, federal laws, Google Google Google, window manufacturing companies, window salesmen, window project managers, banks, diet books, diet shopping, diet menus, diet cooking, kids, kids, kids. Draining.

About the only "me" time was spent at the salon, which as you know is really not the way I prefer to spend my time, so really my roots should fall under the responsibility roadblock too. By the way I went darker again, more of a dark chocolate. It's only a matter of time before I wind up at black and then go back to platinum again.

The other "me" time was spent while researching any of the above on-line. By now you know the big buzz in the book and blog biz is Snooki snagged a book deal. No it's not going to be a pop-up -- it will be a novel about love. "Move over Nicole Richie...My book is gonna fistpump yours. I'm dancing all the way to the bank, bitch!"



With my pathetic schedule while living in one city, I could barely fit in time for 5,000 words this week. With her frantic schedule, appearances, partying and cityhopping, how in the world will poor Snooki ever find the time to write? Of course, we all know she most likely/definitely will have the help/entire book written by a ghostwriter. I seriously doubt Snooki will be revising, editing, looking for that perfect word in a tiny lonely home office. I could just see her, pickle in hand saying, "I already know what's in it. I wrote the freaking thing, why would I need to read it?"

The reason Snooki got a book contract is based solely on platform. It has nothing to do with literature talent. Her talent lies in attracting an audience, and a huge one at that. It's the money, not the message. And it's frustrating. Authors spend months and years trying to perfect their books, and then many more trying to get it even looked at. I doubt Snooki knew how to create the elusive perfect query letter that unpublished writers have read so much about. Unless there happened to be an agent sitting next to her at the salon, club or hot tub, I doubt she researched who would be the "best fit" for her, and who would request a partial. All Snooki, or whoever came up with the "Let's write a book!" idea, had to do to get book industry interest was present her platform. That was enough.

With this new breed of celebreality "authors" snagging contracts so quickly before their fame wanes, I fear the publishing industry's preference is heading into a dark scenario for "nobody" writers -- platform rise, talent dies.