So it was about 10 days before Christmas when nestled between the Christmas cards in my mailbox was a strange envelope addressed to just my last name. The return address was from NASDAQ yet it had an Orlando postmark. The envelope had been sloppily opened before and taped back up. I looked at the handwriting and a chill went down my spine. I knew this letter was nothing good.
Since my spidey sense had kicked in I dropped the envelope on the kitchen table and got a pair of tweezers and a letter opener and proceeded to open the envelope. Sure enough it was nothing good, but at least it didn't have any anthrax spilling out of it. On a ripped piece of paper was a "curse" directed to me and my family.
The curser apparently opened up the book of Psalms and attempted to retrieve a line or two from them that was meant to instill fear in me. The curser is a moron because one of the lines in the letter says, "the lord will avenge you" instead of "the lord will avenge me." This is what happens when someone who has never looked in a bible before tries to use it against someone.
Naturally I knew immediately who the moron was that sent my family the "Christmas curse"...my dead father's sociopath, gold-digging, lousy lay, evil, piece of shit, pathetic, useless, thieving, hideous, ex-girlfriend. Those were just the first adjectives that came to mind, certainly there's many others as well. I had hoped we'd heard the last of her since it's been over two years since she put my father in the ground and tried to steal my home from me. Although I "hoped" I suspected she was still stalking me as she and her cronies had discovered my last blog a couple of months ago. As soon as I recognized their IP addresses I made the blog private and never even bothered addressing them. It must be killing her that she couldn't read all about the "cold dish" I have almost ready to serve her, and this "curse" was her feeble attempt to get back at me.
I imagine she's still obsessed since she was "this close" to cashing in and I thwarted her. From my research I've discovered that sociopaths do not like to lose. Rather than go on her merry way, looking for another victim, she's still out there devising ways to hurt me. I've said it before and I'll say it again...I didn't date her and she shouldn't be my problem. Talk about the daughter paying for sins of the father! Maybe her son should start paying for sins of the mother!
Anyway, if this "curse" is the best she can do, boy is she in trouble. Doesn't she realize that Sicilians invented curses? Heck, I don't' even have to "curse" her...it'll just backfire on her without me even doing anything. That's one of the dangers of a novice using the Psalms as ammunition. One time a mother of a psycho I was dating put a Psalm alongside my picture in her freezer in some santeria ritual to kill me. The psycho was so terrified for my safety. I laughed at him and said I wasn't worried. Sorry to say his mother died shortly thereafter. Coincidence? Of course, but the psycho didn't think so, and blamed me for his mother's death. Sigh.
In fact, the very day before I had received the "curse," I kept noticing a car in front of me everywhere I went that had a license plate that read Psalm 31 on it. I didn't know why I kept seeing it but figured there was a reason. After I read the letter I went to Psalm 31 thinking that's where she got it from, and understood exactly why I was shown it...she didn't use Psalm 31 at all, but it counteracted her perfectly and I immediately was put at ease. My "people" always look out for me.
In fact, since I have received this "curse" I've never slept better. The "curse" helped all my family that travelled to and from Virginia with the best weather possible during a time that was filled with treacherous weather. Even though the sociopath tried to ruin our Christmas again, like she did two years ago, the "curse" was part of the best Christmas ever. Everyone I showed it to, got a good laugh out of it. We even hit a couple of small lotteries after rubbing the scratch-offs on the letter for luck.
There is no doubt this "curse" is from her. I compared her handwriting with the handwriting on the envelope and letter and it matches perfectly, especially the numbers. I'm surprised she didn't cut out little letters like a kidnapper would for a ransom note. That'll be the next letter.
Notice she wrote, "Tom, you may call me a snake but you're the snake..." (see my father finally figured it out in the end but by then it was too late) and then she writes in shorthand. She also mentions herpes viruses. Ewwwww.
I've put the "curse" in a ziploc along with the sample handwriting which I will bring to the 62 precinct up in Brooklyn, as recommended by my local authorities. I'm hoping it could be dusted for fingerprints and she will be arrested for threatening me and my family. If not, at least it could go into the ever-expanding file on her. Maybe I'll even make a copy of the "curse" and slip it under the door to her illegal apartment.
Oddly, I'm not even angry with her, as she is clearly deranged and disturbed. How could I steal something that was mine? Greed kills? Yes, yes it does. She is the greedy thief. She is the greedy liar. Does that mean she is going to kill me and my family? I know everything in my book is the truth, and wonder if she'll be stupid enough to out herself when it's published? We'll see. Hopefully the district attorney will then realize what I've been dealing with and take appropriate actions.
Anyway I have decided to follow Jesus' words about turning the other cheek...well, actually I've decided to turn another page, because now my book has yet another chapter. Every time I think I'm done, this moron just gives me more material. I may reach 100,000 words at this point. It's really sad, or, is it?