The Outer Banks

My dream is to one day own a house at the beach. Lounging on the shore,  reading a book while hearing the waves as they crash, feeling the surf spray on my sun-burned body, smelling the brine of the ocean and hearing birds caw in the background is my idea of bliss.

If I had a job that provided a  pension and health insurance that I could retire from I would have a long time ago. Unfortunately, I didn't think ahead when I was younger, or, in reality, I felt I was "too creative" to work "for the man" at some city/state/federal agency -- how boring! -- and opted to own businesses instead, where it was me alone (80's & 90's) or my husband and I alone (90's until now) paying ourselves, with no retirement plan nor  group health insurance.  Silly me. However my dream is still attainable as my "retirement plan" is the Brooklyn house when we sell it. Lucky me.

Our Roanoke home is located in a beautiful part of the country, but mountains and valleys are not where I want to spend my golden years. We will keep it, not only because my son will be living in it, but the location is a good one in case of tragedy, whether that "tragedy" be man-made or nature made.  Ideally, my plan would be to locate somewhere that is within one day driving distance to Roanoke, and near a beach. Even after selling my Brooklyn home, I would not be able to afford a place anywhere along the beaches of Brooklyn, Queens, or Long Island so New York is out. Same goes for New Jersey...besides, other than a couple of days spent in Atlantic City, I'm just not a fan of that state. I'd consider Maine, but my husband thinks it's too cold...same with all the other New England states.

Next up are the Mid Atlantic states. I have not been to any beaches in Maryland or Delaware so can't weigh in on them. The only beach I've been to in Virginia is Virginia Beach and that's a no-go. Beach is nice, but the area is too crowded, too commercial, too military, too touristy, just too-too.

Now we get to the state that I am most leaning to...North Carolina. The furthest away from our home to a beach there is less than 7 hours. We've been to Ocean Isle Beach and Wrightsville Beach. Love them both, but went to them before I decided that one day I wanted to live near a beach, so I will have to visit the surrounding area again before making a Zillow account on those areas. I tried to book a hotel for last week at both places but couldn't find anything available so I opted to check out another North Carolina beach possibility, and one we'd never been to before, the Outer Banks.

I knew nothing about the Outer Banks other than most people rent houses there.

I am not into renting a house as that means I will have to perform all the same duties in that house as I do in this house. That is not what I consider a vacation. Instead I searched high and low for a room that was either ocean front or had ocean view. No point going to the beach if you don't have that. I was surprised at how booked everything was there too, and how expensive the rooms were, but not as expensive as Wrightsville Beach is. I finally found something that looked decent in Kill Devil Hills. What a weird name for a city! Unfortunately, the pictures were deceptive, and I blame myself for not calling and asking if ocean view meant I had a balcony to sit on to view the ocean. We didn't. So, we paid more for ocean view, which is all it was, a view of the ocean from the inside of our room but too far from the shore.  Although I could probably spend a lot more on it, this post is not going to be a bash on the hotel. It's really about what I thought of the Outer Banks. Let's just say, it only took a couple of days to realize it's not a retirement contender.

Like I stated earlier, I love the beach. Not only do I love lounging on the beach, I enjoy going in the ocean. My husband, who once thought he would one day be a marine biologist, does not feel the same way. When I go to the beach, it brings me back to my childhood -- where we spent most days -- either at Brighton Beach, Manhattan Beach, or Coney Island. When we weren't baking grilled cheese and bologna sandwiches wrapped in tin foil under the hot sun, or chasing down the fudgie wudgie man, we were jumping in, under, and over the waves. I can't swim, probably because I didn't spend much time in a pool, but I can float on my back, for a little bit, in salt water. The rest of the time I'm usually neck deep bobbing like a cork that fell in a punch bowl.

The first thing I noticed about the OBX (quickly learned OBX on those oval stickers on a lot of car windows was the abbreviation for Outer Banks) was the color and temperature of the water. It was grayish,  darker than I thought it would be, and much much colder than I thought as well. The water up north at Brooklyn beaches and Emerald Coast NC ones are way warmer. On my first day I only went up to my ankles because it was so frigid and was disappointed to find how horrible the sand in the surf felt under my feet. It wasn't smooth at all. It felt like shards of broken shells and hurt to even walk on it. I wondered how far out it went, but didn't explore because the water was so cold. There were hardly any shells on the beach, none unbroken, and if we had gone with the kids when they were young other than them probably chasing all the little crabs peeking out from under the sand, they would have been disappointed too. The ocean was so calm that it didn't make sense to me why there would be so many broken shards.

Even if I didn't go in the water I still enjoyed just being on the beach. I did take a dip in the unheated hotel pool which felt good as it was warmer than the ocean.

Paddle boarding on the Atlantic Ocean

The next day it rained so no beach for us. Instead we visited Manteo which is where that other Roanoke is, the Lost Colony of Roanoke. The town itself is cute, but there really wasn't much to see where the actual colony was. We had planned on attending the play that night but since it was outdoors, and still raining, we didn't bother. Here's a couple of shots of the settlement.

Spanish moss

When we next went to the beach it was like we were at a different beach than we were two days prior. The waves were crazy strong and now it made sense as to why the ocean floor was like a sharp dump of broken shells.

The sounds of the crashing waves were amazing, but the pull of them, even as I stood only ankle deep, was scary. I couldn't imagine even going up to my calves as the undertow was so strong.

Those waves were so high and powerful I was scared for the parents who were letting their children go near them. I was on watch the whole time. Any child that was even near the surf I worried about. One guy had one of those sand chairs wedged in right by the shore and I watched as a crazy wave came in and tumbled him out of it! I couldn't imagine letting my child go into that ocean. I heard someone say in the breakfast room that morning that there were riptides. A riptide can pull you out overwhelm you in mere seconds. When I asked the front desk person if she had heard any idea what the weather was going to be that day she said, "You're on the Outer Banks, it changes from minute to minute." Yeah, no, the Outer Banks will not be on my short list.

Always wanted to surf...those days are over!

There were two things I really liked about OBX...the fresh seafood and the thrift stores. I have to say every restaurant we went to was really good and I have had my fill of sea scallops and shrimp to last a while. Some of my recommendations are: Slice, a pizzeria where as the name implies, you can just grab a slice of pizza if that's all you want. There are many varieties, all looked yummy. And their pizza was so delicious I went back to have another fresh mozzarella, Roma tomato, garlic & basil slice twice. You can also get a glass of wine while you wait.

Trio was the exact restaurant I have wanted to open in Roanoke for the last 20+ years...a place where you can get wine, cheese, beer and live acoustic music. They also had a store in the front where you can take out goodies. Delicious! Click here for my Trip Advisor Trio review.  Josephine's Sicilian Kitchen was another favorite. Real Italian food, in an intimate setting where the menu changes weekly. They do not take reservations so if you want to get in without a long wait I recommend going when it first opens at 5:00pm. Click here for my Trip Advisor review of Josephine's. If you want something a little more fancier, for that special occasion, I recommend the Colington Cafe, a French restaurant in what was once a home in Collington which is right near Nags Head and Kill Devil Hills.

I loved going to all the thrift stores. My favorite was Class and Trash which was like an affordable Black Dog Salvage yard. We got some neat things and had I had room we probably would have brought back a lot more "stuff."

Besides the ocean water, the most disappointing event we experienced was a wine tasting event which took us 45 minutes to get to as it was at the end of the OBX in Cutterick. There were only two vineyards sampling, and three beer breweries. I don't drink beer so for $15 it was a waste as the pour was literally a thimble size pour of five different wines. Altogether it would not have filled the glass. I  now know I hate North Carolina grapes, way too sweet with a musky aftertaste. At least there was some nice scenery. There was no way I was climbing the lighthouse and paying $10 to be out of breath and in pain, but it was pretty to look at.

There was no way I was leaving without getting in that ocean so on our last day I braved the cold, waves, and rough bottom and did a quick run in. I was stopped about knee high by a powerful wave which knocked me down. By the time I got up Frank was already at the shore in case he had to rescue me. I got out quickly.

All in all it was good to get away, but with the temperatures soaring into the high nineties in Roanoke, this week at the beach would probably have been a better call.

My husband is pushing for us to consider Florida as a possibility, but I'm not too keen on it. He thinks Maine is too cold. I think Florida is too hot. I'm sure there are other beaches between Maine and Florida we could consider. If you know of any please drop a comment!

23andWho???

I was the first in my family to have my DNA tested through 23andMe. I'm sure most of you know what that is but for those who do not, it's a company that will tell you where your ancestors come from, how much percentage you carry of different countries your ancestors hailed from, a timeline of when they first show up, and more importantly to me, are the health reports that they generate. The kit comes with a vial that you spit in, close, shake, and send off to the company.

As I chose to take part in both ancestry as well as health reports it cost $199. If you do ancestry alone it's $99, and they run specials now and then, up to 20% off. It takes about four to six weeks, sometimes sooner to get the results via email.

I always thought I was mostly Italian with perhaps some Norman mixed in as a relative on my Dad's side had completed genealogical research which went back to the 1400's and had something to do with Normans going through Spain and into Italy. The most distinguished DiRosa (originally spelled with an i not e) was a Senator in Naples. If you know anything about Naples during that time period, you know they were pretty much out of control, so I'm not surprised. I mean living on the side of a volcano that can erupt at any moment can make one "carefree." I also suspected there might be a little Genghis Khan in me because my daughter had a little blueish birthmark on her backside when she was born and I read somewhere along the line that mark was present in descendants of Khan.

Here are my results which shows I am mostly Italian, actually 88.5% Southern European and I'm assuming the Broadly Southern European probably is Sicily as that's where all four of my grandparents were born. North African and Middle Eastern make sense too as everybody raided Sicily. I was surprised to see that yes, maybe I am a descendent of Khan as I have .3% Mongolian. I found the Broadly East Asian .1% surprising as well as the unassigned .8%.

Here is my timeline which is very surprising to me.

It makes sense that my Grandparents hailed from Italy between 1870-1930, but there is nothing between the years 1840-1870. My very first ancestor supposedly is Finnish followed by West African. So does that mean a ship left Finland and wound up in West Africa? Did my ancestor have something to do with slavery or did he/she marry an African Queen/King?

The next family member to do 23andMe was my daughter which shows she shares 50% of her DNA with me. I was very curious to have her spit in a bottle because there was some disparity between my husband's relatives as what ancestry they are. Many years ago when my daughter was diagnosed with MHE I tried to find out as much genetic info as I could. Since my husband was adopted and hadn't stayed in touch with his biological father's side, he didn't have any information on them so we turned to his mom. When she said my husband's grandmother on his father's side was Cherokee I was elated as that would mean my daughter was about 25% or 12.5% Cherokee which entitled her to a bevy of free medical treatments for her rare disease. His mom also said his grandfather on her side, her father,  was half-Japanese, which was cool. My husband knew that grandfather very well and said he would never speak of that side. I've seen pics of his grandparents and his grandfather does not look Japanese at all while his grandmother does look German.

Back to the Native American gene...We actually went on a trip to Cherokee, NC to look at the rolls to see if we could verify my husband's heritage. It was a bust, and it was then I decided I needed to reach out to his biological dad's side. His father had already passed many years prior but he still had a brother who I tracked down and sent a letter. To make a long story short they were thrilled I contacted them and were joyful they finally got the opportunity to reconnect with my husband who they hadn't seen since he was 6 years old and only for a moment at 18 at his dad's funeral. Since my contact with them we have become very close and they are truly wonderful people. Anyway back to the heritage. When I told his uncle that I needed some sort of verification about their Cherokee lineage he laughed and said they weren't Cherokee at all. Huh? No, my husband's grandparents were actually Polish!

His uncle was big into genealogy and had reams of pages on their family which first entered America on the Mayflower, the Southwicks, he said. He also said that Teddy and Franklin Roosevelt were distant cousins of my husband. All very interesting but not a Native American among them!

When my daughter's 23andMe results came back it showed she was 98.4% European. She has a percentage of all my ancestors except for Finnish, Middle Eastern, Mongolian, and Broadly Sub-Saharan Africa.  Her majority, not from my side, is Northwestern Europe which included 12.7% British & Irish, 7.5% French & German, and 10.2% Broadly Northeast European which I would assume was Polish. She also showed <.1% Ashkenazi Jewish, and since I had 0% I figured that was from her father's side. What was odd to me was that she had 0% Japanese! The only East Asian she had was .2%, with .1% Yakut.  I had .4% East Asian and 0 Yakut.

When the kids bought their dad a 23andMe kit for Christmas I think I was more excited than he was to find out his ancestry. Well, we got the results last week. Our daughter is his with her carrying 49.9% of his DNA. So where is the other .1%???

Here is a snapshot of some of his results:

As you can see he is listed as 100% European with the majority of his ancestry, 69.2% Northwestern European broken down as 31.8% British & Irish, 15.7% French & German, 1.5% Scandinavian, 20.2% Broadly Northeast European. The rest is Eastern European. Most notable are two things...first, the 0% Ashkenazi Jewish. If I have 0 and he has 0 how does our daughter have <.1% Ashkenazi? Second, no Japanese! How can that be? His mother told him his grandfather was half Japanese. Shouldn't there be at least a small percentage? He was told stories of how his mother, her sisters and his grandmother were almost rounded up and sent to Japanese interment camps even though his "half-Japanese" grandfather worked in the Brooklyn Navy yards during the war. There is even a letter floating around somewhere whereby the government apologized.

According to my husband's timeline either his parent, grandparent or great grandparent was 100% British & Irish and born between 1870 & 1930. He adamantly says this is incorrect. Besides, as we all know no one is really 100% anything!

This is our wall of ancestors...

At the very top is a photo is of my husband's ancestors on his grandfather's side, all Japanese in traditional dress. I do not know the year of this photo.

So, who are these people? Are they not his relatives? Who do we believe? DNA or oral histories? Did 23andMe get it all wrong? And if they got the ancestry side wrong, what about the health reports? How accurate are they? I had hoped this DNA testing would answer some questions, but in fact it's given me even more...23andWho???

Autumn on Mill Mountain in Roanoke

It was such a gorgeous weekend in Roanoke. Here are some pictures taken from atop Mill Mountain and then in downtown Roanoke...enjoy this wonderful weather while it lasts!

The National D-Day Memorial - A Pictorial

On Sunday my daughter, her boyfriend, and I made the trip to Bedford to visit the National D-Day Memorial. This was the first time for me, and will become part of the "local tour" sites I suggest to out-of-town visitors. Although a little chilly and the blossoms and flowers not yet in full bloom, it was a perfect day to appreciate the beauty of the region, the history of the memorial, and learn more than I knew before about D-Day. I'll leave the history behind each of the shots below to your tour guide, who I recommend you follow when you visit. If you explore yourself you're bound to miss out on the "aha" moments...

"The National D-Day Memorial Foundation is a nonprofit educational foundation warranted by Congress to establish in Bedford, Virginia, and maintain for the nation, a memorial to the valor, fidelity, and sacrifice of the Allied forces that took part in the landing at Normandy, France on 6 June 1944....The Memorial does not receive federal or state funding and relies on donations to operate. By supporting the Foundation in telling the D-Day story today you ensure its retelling tomorrow."