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Monday, November 8, 2010

Caution! Renovation Work!

Don't even think about crossing this Caution tape that surrounds my property...



And if you happen to make it across the barrier you'd better not even think about eating, drinking or smoking because as you can clearly see Renovation Work is in progress...



And if you happen to make it across the barrier and through the door you're sure to face the plastic tombs...





And if you make it across the barrier, through the door, survive the plastic tombs and think you're going to install a window outdoors you damn well better be wearing a Hazmat suit!



All this because my 1957 home had lead paint, not even on the windows or frames, but on the window sill interior. Thank you EPA. If you didn't mandate this treatment God knows my teenagers would have picked up the speckle of paint that fell on the floor and sucked it down and then suffered irreversible brain damage.

The job is still going on because my 1957 home had some water damaged wooden sills which had to be cut by hand and replaced.

The job is still going on because my 1957 home does not have a straight edge anywhere so each of the 19 window frames are being hand cut on site and installed one section at a time.

The job is still going on because my 1957 home's basement windows were steel framed embedded into brick and had to be cut out with a grinder.

It's no wonder one window company didn't even want to take the job.

While navigating around the plastic tombs, holding my breath, not smoking, drinking or eating, I asked aloud for the thirtieth time, "Can someone please tell me why I decided to get new windows?" my son answered, "Because I was dying a slow death in my frigid room. Oh, and just so you know, I can now feel my fingers and toes and it's about ten degrees warmer in there already and they haven't even put the frame around it yet!"

Oh, it's always for the kids, isn't it? So you're welcome and Merry Christmas!

Hopefully, soon, like this week, my new best friends will be gone I can get back to my routine. And after that, the next horrible experience happens...shopping for curtains.

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