Fractured Facade


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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Hair We Go Again

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I knew there was no way in hell I was going to be able to go 6 weeks in between dye jobs as was recommended to me by the colorist. Actually, I didn't wait two days last month before I went back and had her change the color so I wasn't so Bozo the Clownish. If you remember, at that time I was also talked into buying the very expensive Rusk Healing Shampoo & Conditioner as they would nourish and heal my damaged hair, as well as extend the color life. Truthfully, after using them for almost three weeks I didn't see any difference in my hair texture than when I was using the much cheaper Tresemme products. As far as retaining the color, nope, didn't happen.

After each shampoo my hair became more and more "copper" for lack of a better color word, most noticeably along a one inch strip that circled my head like a monk's do. That didn't bother me as much as the half-inch white stripe that stood out throughout the red like last year's Christmas candy cane. The white line began by the first week and by day 14 was getting way too thick and skunk-like. I could no longer wear my hair straight. I could no longer wear my hair with its natural curl either, as when I had gotten my hair cut a week before the first color I think the stylist cut on the curl line, or did something, so that my hair doesn't fall naturally curly anymore. I was forced to buy rollers. Yes, rollers.

I don't think I've ever used rollers, ever, ever, ever, but now I had to because I needed to puff out my hair and hide the stripe. So I bought curlers that didn't need any bobby pins. They "magically" remain in your hair. Unfortunately the multi-sized set had too many large rollers and not enough small ones since I no longer had the luxurious locks to hold them. I tried putting them in my dry hair. When I took them out my hair flopped. My daughter said I didn't keep them in long enough. 3 hours wasn't long enough? Next I tried putting them in wet hair. When I took them out my hair flopped and was still wet. 6 hours wasn't long enough? The third time I tried I put them in wet and then blew dry my hair. This time there were curls. Oh boy were there curls. There were so many curls I had to take a brush and try to brush them out. I ended up looking like Kitty from "That 70's Show." Not a look I want to emulate, so I took the flat iron first and then the curling iron. I love the smell of singed hair in the morning. This was getting to be too much work so I called the salon and moved up my appointment by 10 days.

I had a 12:00 appointment yesterday. I didn't get out until 3:00. I didn't even have a hair cut. This was just to color my hair. The colorist couldn't believe how much my hair had grown. There were three ladies all putting their fingers through my hair looking at the new growth and the faded color. I decided I needed to go darker. I figure a white stripe in brown won't look as bad as one in red so maybe I could get another week out of it.

Now, when I used to dye my hair at home it took me 30 minutes from start to finish and I did this in the comfort of my pj's. I'd just mix two bottles, slather it all over, set the timer, get in a Wii game while waiting, and be done. This doesn't happen when a professional does it. No, first you have to get dressed, put on makeup, and style you hair. Then when you get there, you have to sign in and wait and wait and wait. Then you sit in the chair while the colorist feels your hair, then consults with other colorists, then pulls out the color books and matches up, then mixes the stuff and then finally begins painting with a brush every strand. First all the roots have to be done which takes awhile because "you have so much hair." After sitting under a dryer and heading back to the chair, the rest of the hair gets painted which takes awhile because "you have so much hair." By the way, my hair barely even reaches the top of my shoulders. The chair next to me saw a dye job, a hair cut & style and the beginning of a highlight job while I had one color applied. I began to feel bad I was taking so long just sitting there. I was also cursing the modern clock with the hands that blended into the artsy numbers as I could barely read it. My stomach kept me informed of what time it was by growling on the half hour.

I noticed one woman who had to be at least 15 years older than me, had a rich red hair color and eyebrows that matched perfectly so I asked the colorist about it. She told me that she gets them dyed. I was shocked because I thought it was illegal to do that, something about going blind, so I asked her if she could dye mine to get rid of the grey and match my hair. She said no problem so while we waited for my hair to take she applied the eyebrow dye with a q-tip. As she was washing my hair out the timer went off for the eyebrows so it worked perfectly, except it didn't work at all. My mutant eyebrows would not take the dye. Oh, the skin around them took it all right, but not the hair. The gray hair glistened even more than before! The stylist was perplexed and said she would try again. I figure I better not push my luck since I could still see, so waved her off. Besides I was starving and wasted too much of my day already. My husband kept calling, probably wondering where the hell I was since I was supposed to go to work, and bring lunch. I heard the silent buzz but I couldn't answer as I had dye on my ears. If he would learn how to open a text message on his phone (that's what the little envelope on the screen means!) he might have figured out why I wasn't there yet.

Anyway, I finally got out of there in time to go pick up the girl from school. I actually like the new color, for now.



It's darker, but there's still red highlights. I figure the next time I go I'll go even darker with no red highlights, and get a better cut. Then the time after that soft black. Then after that midnight black. Then after that back to platinum. I knew there was a reason I kept my hair so light. It's too much work, and too damn time consuming. Or....I might just go buy two boxes of L'Oreal and do it myself.

5 comments:

  1. I have to say, you look fabulous in the darker color. Or is that your daughter in the picture? Can't wait to see you on the market one day sporting this new look.

    Elena, you had me laughing again with your oh so funny writing ability...We've all been there, in the chair.

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  2. Three hours sitting anywhere would have killed me...

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  3. My God, I thought that was Joey Ramone in the picture.

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  4. I'll take that as a compliment Dan...

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