Fractured Facade

"A fathers death...a daughter's life...a sociopath's vendetta...FRACTURED FACADE ...a novel written as memoir. Only $3.99 and available everywhere e-books are sold including Amazon, iTunes, Kobo Books, and Barnes & Noble


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Friday, April 2, 2010

Evil Egg Hunt

Since Easter is this Sunday I decided to reach into the archives and post a post entitled "Evil Egg Hunt" which orignally ran two years ago on my first blog. It's not your ordinary Easter egg hunt. This one involves Victorian Eggs and a Pee Wee Herman doll and it still makes me chuckle...

In my travels I recently picked up a couple of papier mache Easter eggs from Tuesday Morning. At the time I wasn't sure if I really liked the Victorian era eggs or not, but figured I should just buy them because if I decided later on I did like them they would probably be gone. When I got home I really couldn't find a place for them so I just put them on top of the tv center.

When the kids got home from school my daughter asked what they were and brought them down to get a closer look. When she saw them up close and personal she screamed, "What are these Easter eggs from hell?" She thought they were scary and creepy looking and told me to get rid of them as they gave her the willies.

She particularly hated this one...who she said reminded her of a deranged devil rabbit walking his sidekick familiar, chick demon spawn.

Since she kept going on and on and on about my questionable "taste", I decided I would have a little fun with her. While she was having her snack I placed the evil egg on her bed, hiding it under her covers. I'm not very good at keeping secrets when playing a practical joke so kept giggling the whole night in anticipation of her discovery.

I actually went to bed first, but before I could fall into my peaceful slumber I heard her screams echo all the way from the other side of the house. She marched into my room trying to act all upset, holding the evil egg at arm's length, but instead cracked up laughing, finally realizing what I was giggling about all night. I told her I wouldn't tease her with it anymore. As I looked at the eggs closer I realized she was right, these things could give you a nightmare. The next morning I awoke to find Mr. Evil Rabbit staring at me...

Man, she was good. And silent. I never even heard her come into my room. Again, we laughed so hard that the $1.99 I paid for each one was suddenly worth it. Naturally I couldn't let her get the best of me so I sneaked the egg into her school bag.

We both left the house at the same time, she heading into the mini van with my husband, me in the Jeep with my son. Waiting at the light, next to each other, we both were cracking up and I told her her to look in her schoolbag. She started really cracking up and told me to look in the backseat of the Jeep. Holy shit! There it was! Just sitting there, staring at me. She is damn good. The light turned green and we went our separate ways, with me practically peeing my pants. Driving my son to school he came up with a brilliant idea to notch up the competition a bit. He suggested I bring the big guns out, Pee Wee Herman.

Yes! She hates that doll more than anything, and at her request, I've had it hidden in my closet for years. What a great idea. So while she was in school I placed Pee Wee under her covers. Later when she came home she felt something under her as she plopped on her bed. She slowly pulled the covers down to see what was under there and was met with his spooky stare.

She wouldn't even touch him to remove him, so asked her brother to come and get him out of her room, who by now realized what happened and was bent over in laughter as I was. She vowed revenge. Inadvertently when she sat on Pee Wee I think she may have wounded him because when I pulled the string on his back he just garbled gibberish. I was saddened to see him lose his voice but it was my own fault for placing it where she couldn't see it.

That night my husband wasn't feeling too good, so being the compassionate wife that I am, I kicked him out of our bed and sent him downstairs to infect the spare room instead of me. Hey, if mom goes down, we all go down. When I awoke in the morning I didn't have a 200 pound man next to me but this instead...

Pee Wee with a plastic bag over his head. She suffocated Pee Wee! Check and mate for the little one, as the only thing left to put in her bed is a horse's head...


  1. LOL! Cute, cute story. I love playing April Fool jokes like that. Of course, yours wasn't meant to be April Fool's but turned out sort of that way. This makes for a good family relationship!

  2. Thanks Cheryl...we laugh a lot in this family ;)

  3. That is fantastic! Y'all have such a wonderful sense of humor, I love it.