Fractured Facade

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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Snow is Snow is Snow

So we have a bet if Roanoke County is going to call me again tomorrow morning at 5:30am to tell me to go back to sleep because the schools are closed or will they call tonight. I say they'll call tonight, after 9, because any moron could turn on the weather channel (or open their window) and see that it's sleeting outside. Since the schools here close when there's even a possibility it might snow I'm thinking my schedule will be screwed up again tomorrow. It's not that my kids are pains or anything, it's just that my normal routine is disrupted when they're around. It's so much easier to blame them for not editing my book when in reality it's that my brain has turned to slush, and my lack of creativity has absolutely nothing to do with them baking chocolate chip cookies or playing X-Box.

Sitting at the dinner table watching tv (yes, we're one of those families) the kids got a kick out of NYC's Mayor Bloomberg holding a press conference about closing the schools tomorrow. "What's up with that?" they wanted to know. I explained that NYC schools mostly serve as babysitting services and provide free meals for many of the students so when they close it's a big deal. They must be getting soft because I can't ever remember a day when I didn't have to go to school. Four foot snowdrifts? Pffft, climb over them, you wimp!

The big controversy down here in Roanoke is about shoveling sidewalks. The city of Roanoke has to actually send people out to tell people that they're going to fine them if they don't clear their sidewalks. Can you imagine there's a law that tells people to do something that should come naturally to them? Apparently Southerners who have sidewalks don't like to shovel, and they can't understand why Yankees do. I'll tell you why...because it's common freaking sense! It's also common sense that you don't wait until you have 12 inches of the stuff, or wait until it turns to ice, before you attempt to shovel. What's that you can't shovel, you're old or have a bad back? Well then how about paying the teen down the block to do it for you. You pay someone to mow your lawn you can pay someone to shovel your walk so your neighbor doesn't break a leg as they try and walk past your house. What gets me is that Roanoke city is complaining about people not shoveling yet the city themselves have yet to shovel in front of their libraries and schools!

You know what else really annoys me about the Southerners and snow...they don't clear their vehicles off before they take them out for a spin. So when they're driving down 419 a big chunk of ice or snow flies off their SUV and hits my windshield! I saw one guy that was so lazy he only cleared off a 6" x 6" spot on his windshield and left the rest of it covered. His back windshield was totally covered. What's wrong with these people?

Meanwhile I don't even have sidewalks but my husband has shoveled my driveway and cleared a path to my mailbox too many times to count. And every freaking time VDOT comes to plow those bastards block us back in. Since my mailman can't pull directly in front of the box, and would have to stretch three more inches to put mail in my box, it'll probably be spring before I get any more mail. Oh well, like Newman says, "No one really needs mail."

Can you tell I've about had enough of winter? I don't even want to take any more snow pictures. All the shots are starting to look the same...Snow is snow is snow is snow is snow is snow is snow is snow is snow is snow...


  1. Hubby went out and shoveled snow off our drive and sidewalk 3 times a day when it was snowing just to stay ahead of it a bit. Once it gets good and deep it's too hard to handle it. But then we are transplanted Yankees from way back who grew up with this white stuff too.

    SO.... how about these 50mph gusts of wind today!

    The Blue Ridge Gal

  2. Just what we needed 50mph wind because this winter doesn't suck enough! Sigh...

  3. Hey, we're southerners who clear the deck and the driveway and other people's driveways, even. My husband has plowed driveways for all of the neighbors. He's done it again this morning, thanks to 4-foot drifts.

    But we're also country southerners, and that's different yet from our city cousins.