It's Not You...It's Them!

Just last week when we were sitting around the table with the kids and some of their friends, I warned the ones that were dating that they were entering a dangerous week, Valentine's Day was coming. For the girls it's more treacherous than for the boys because if a boy is not totally smitten with a girl he's been dating, he will in all likelihood, break up with the girl before the 14th so he doesn't have to spend any unnecessary money buying a phony "love" present. The girls will stick it out because really they have nothing to lose, but if they don't like the present they get they very well might dump the guy the day after Valentine's Day. The kids goofed on me, saying I was crazy, that maybe the guys from my generation would do that, but they didn't think their generation would. One of the guys said he would never do that to his girl, and one of the girls (my daughter) said she didn't think her boyfriend would ever do that as well. I begged to differ, shrugged my shoulders and just said, "People are people, no matter what generation."

Cut to a couple of days later when I was met with red-rimmed eyes and a finger pointing to me proclaiming that I was "the prophet of doom" by the girl. Sure enough she had been dumped, via text messaging no less. She didn't see that coming, and frankly neither did I. The boyfriend was always polite to me, hugged me even, and seemed to really like the girl, although I did mention to her in the past that he said he "loved her" way too quick for my liking. I really expected more from him than the text message dump. At least in my day the guys had to squirm face to face when they dumped the girls and couldn't hide behind a two-inch screen. Of course the boy still loved her, he just wasn't "in love" with her anymore. I told her at least he didn't say, "It's not you, it's me."

I hugged her and even though she didn't show me any tears I know she felt terrible and had been crying at some point. I told her that I've always felt that Valentine's Day just seemed to bring out the worst in some people, it was a ridiculous Hallmark holiday that put too much pressure on people. "Do you know how lucky your father is that I don't celebrate that day?" I feel that if someone loves me they should show me every single day and not have to prove it on one day. Of course my husband still buys me a mushy card, gets me a box of chocolates and this year bought me Curb Your Enthusiasm DVDs. He knows that I will file for divorce if he ever brings roses home today. I make faces, but always take the presents, thank him and give him a big hug and kiss. His Valentine's Day gift consists of a card from the dollar store that says something like, "Take the garbage out." If I ever got him a sentimental gift he would think I was having an affair.

Anyway, by the end of our conversation I had the girl laughing..."It's not you, it's them!" I think that my "forecast of doom" may have actually helped her deal with the situation. She may have been blind-sided, but she realized that the situation wasn't unusual. She seemed fine today. Her daddy made sure she got a box of chocolates, the good kind too, and I made sure she got a Ben Stiller movie, the cheap kind. Before she headed out to the mall with her friend I heard them laughing up a storm in her room so hopefully today's just another Sunday, and she could forget all about stupid cupid. Mom was right once again, but I really wished I wouldn't have been this time.