Evil Egg Hunt Time!

Easter Sunday...and that means it's that time of the year again when I reach back into the archives and repost an old entry entitled "Evil Egg Hunt." Enjoy.

Evil Egg Hunt

In my travels I recently picked up a couple of papier mache Easter eggs from Tuesday Morning. At the time I wasn't sure if I really liked the Victorian era eggs or not, but figured I should just buy them because if I decided later on I did like them they would probably be gone. When I got home I really couldn't find a place for them so I just put them on top of the tv center.




When the kids got home from school my daughter asked what they were and brought them down to get a closer look. When she saw them up close and personal she screamed, "What are these Easter eggs from hell?" She thought they were scary and creepy looking and told me to get rid of them as they gave her the willies.




She particularly hated this one...who she said reminded her of a deranged devil rabbit walking his sidekick familiar, chick demon spawn.




Since she kept going on and on and on about my questionable "taste", I decided I would have a little fun with her. While she was having her snack I placed the evil egg on her bed, hiding it under her covers. I'm not very good at keeping secrets when playing a practical joke so kept giggling the whole night in anticipation of her discovery.




I actually went to bed first, but before I could fall into my peaceful slumber I heard her screams echo all the way from the other side of the house. She marched into my room trying to act all upset, holding the evil egg at arm's length, but instead cracked up laughing, finally realizing what I was giggling about all night. I told her I wouldn't tease her with it anymore. As I looked at the eggs closer I realized she was right, these things could give you a nightmare. The next morning I awoke to find Mr. Evil Rabbit staring at me...





Man, she was good. And silent. I never even heard her come into my room. Again, we laughed so hard that the $1.99 I paid for each one was suddenly worth it. Naturally I couldn't let her get the best of me so I sneaked the egg into her school bag.



We both left the house at the same time, she heading into the mini van with my husband, me in the Jeep with my son. Waiting at the light, next to each other, we both were cracking up and I told her her to look in her schoolbag. She started really cracking up and told me to look in the backseat of the Jeep. Holy shit! There it was! Just sitting there, staring at me. She is damn good. The light turned green and we went our separate ways, with me practically peeing my pants. Driving my son to school he came up with a brilliant idea to notch up the competition a bit. He suggested I bring the big guns out, Pee Wee Herman.




Yes! She hates that doll more than anything, and at her request, I've had it hidden in my closet for years. What a great idea. So while she was in school I placed Pee Wee under her covers. Later when she came home she felt something under her as she plopped on her bed. She slowly pulled the covers down to see what was under there and was met with his spooky stare.




She wouldn't even touch him to remove him, so asked her brother to come and get him out of her room, who by now realized what happened and was bent over in laughter as I was. She vowed revenge. Inadvertently when she sat on Pee Wee I think she may have wounded him because when I pulled the string on his back he just garbled gibberish. I was saddened to see him lose his voice but it was my own fault for placing it where she couldn't see it.

That night my husband wasn't feeling too good, so being the compassionate wife that I am, I kicked him out of our bed and sent him downstairs to infect the spare room instead of me. Hey, if mom goes down, we all go down. When I awoke in the morning I didn't have a 200 pound man next to me but this instead...





Pee Wee with a plastic bag over his head. She suffocated Pee Wee! Check and mate for the little one, as the only thing left to put in her bed is a horse's head...

Megan Jean & the KFB

It's always exciting when I "discover" a new musical talent that I fall in love with. It's a rare occurrence, and even more rare when the singer is a female. I'm the first to admit I'm jaded when it comes to women singing...there are only a few that I have on my mp3 player (shhh, don't laugh about my mp3 player as I still listen to audio cassettes as well.) Patti Smith, Courtney Love, Billie Holiday & Souxsie Sioux are the chosen ones on my limited capacity player. After my recent purchase of two Cd's, it looks like I'm going to have to delete some songs to make room for "Dead Woman Walking" and "The Devil Herself" by Megan Jean and the KFB.

Facebook finally became useful when it alerted me to a performance on Tuesday evening of Megan Jean at the Roanoke City Library. I had never heard of this husband and wife duet before, but after reading some of the comments decided to Youtube them. I heard this...



Intrigued, and having my Brooklyn cousin -- my musical soul partner -- in town proved to be the perfect storm. We arrived at the library a couple of minutes late. In front of us was a woman strumming with steel fingertips a washboard, keeping beat on a drum with her foot,  whacking the snare with her left hand & marrying them with her stunning vocals. To her right stood her husband picking a beautiful black banjo. And that's it...an orchestra coming from two. It works.

Sorry my pictures suck. The performance reminded me of touring troubadours, gypsies, and a voodoo queen from New Orleans. Although Annie Lenox, Patti Smith, Billie Holiday, Amy Winehouse, and a couple of others were named, my cousin and I couldn't quite determine "who" she sounded like. Herself, I guess. Besides putting on a animated show, I found Megan Jean to be entertaining and likable with her segue stories. They had just arrived in VA after a stint in Florida's gulf coast during Spring Break Week. She joked they were not her target audience. I bet. My cousin and & I were. So much so that after the show I bought both of her Cd's.

She mentioned they will be appearing at Martin's in May. I'm definitely going. They're also be playing FloydFest. That's not my scene, but I know it's popular here, so I recommend anyone going definitely check out what time they'll be playing. Get close to the stage.

Memorabilia

Posting has been light lately because there just aren't enough hours in a day. Besides continuing to research my next novel, I'm in full spring cleaning mode, and I thank my soon-to-arrive out-of-town guests for keeping me on my toes. It's amazing how much "junk" one can accumulate. Of course, all I need to do is watch an episode of "Hoarders" to make me realize, "hey, I'm not that bad after all."

I have taken a page from my daughter's playbook -- any clothing that has been in drawers, or in the back of the closet over two years, means I do not wear it, so off to Goodwill it goes. No matter how much I tell myself, "One day I will fit in those jeans," deep down I know those days are gone. If the girl could get rid of 7 bags of clothing surely I can too. A whole drawer of make-up was easy to toss as was a cabinet full of hair product and expired medicine.

The "memorabilia" is harder to let go. These were some of the articles found in my dresser drawers:

*A little box containing shreds of my son's blankie
*A velvet pouch containing shreds of my daughter's blankie
*A plastic ziploc containing both kids' teeth
*A tissue unwrapped reveals golden locks of hair and a chestnut brown curl
*Inscribed corks from champagne bottles -- one with "she said yes!" and another with "15 years after she said yes!"
*Photos, photos, & more photos -- beautiful, colorful film before digital cameras came on the scene
*Mass and saint cards of those who have passed (I've lost a lot of loved ones)
*Notes, cards & letters from a time before computers took away the warmth of a pen
*A dainty lacy handkerchief blessed by the Pope in the 60's and given to me by my mother
*Little coin purses that were my mother's
*A plastic coin purse with a daisy on it containing a couple of dollars' in coins that was my daughter's; her first money earned by creating and selling jewelery
*Copies of letters by me written in 2000 to my daughter's principal and teachers (These deserve their own blog post which I will save for another day!)
*Max's paw print in plaster. I miss my baby boy...

I couldn't let any of it go, so I put them in a plastic container which has room for more "memorabilia." I still have many rooms, and an entire basement to get through, and I have a feeling I'm going to need more containers. For now, I have to stop because I'm having guests soon...YAY!...and I have to do the "real" cleaning. Oh, I hope they bring the Breakstone Butter!

I probably won't be around much because I'll be busy playing tour guide, hoping to entice my visitors to come back to Roanoke, if not permanently, at least more often. This will be the third visit from my cousin, but my friend has never been here. I hope the weather cooperates.

Cat Dog

The way Bella perches on the top of furniture, I'm starting to think she is part cat. She can certainly be sneaky like a cat.

 "Let me just put my two paws in the window while looking at Mom and she'll not notice what I'm doing."

"Haha, success! I could see Mom, but I know she can't see me through these blinds."

"Drat! I think she may have noticed me. I"ll give her my disinterested yawn. That always works."

"Not this time. What Mom? Can't I stay in my secret clubhouse a little longer?"

"Dinner? Did you say dinner? I'm coming!!"

Ravens or Crows

If only there was audio to accompany the creepiness of these birds. I call them ravens, but my husband says they're crows...Anyone know who's right?

Finally Free for the Nook!

Well, well, well, lookie at that...Barnes & Noble finally made The Valentine's Day Curse free!

This is the first time I can actually offer Nook readers something for nothing. I certainly hope they take advantage of it.

So now the last hold-out is Amazon. Unless people, ahem, you dear readers, report to Amazon that the book is free on B&N, iTunes & Kobo they will continue to price it at 99 cents.

I really would like to have this short story be free everywhere without having to become exclusive to Amazon so will give it 90 days. After that period if the download numbers do not reflect well on all sites besides Amazon, I may have no other choice but to indenture myself again.

I would love to give it a trial run without the exclusivity, so if you can help me out here I'd be most grateful! Thanks!!!

Read an eBook Week

In celebration of Read an eBook Week I am offering for FREE during the Month of March -- on Smashwords, Kobo, and iTunes -- The Valentine's Day Curse. You might see it listed as "theatre" in the iTunes store...it's not, but for some reason Apple cannot/will not change it. Feel free to check out the correct listing and reviews on Amazon.

Since Barnes & Noble have yet to make it free, and I'm beginning to believe they never will, be advised that Nook readers can download it from Smashwords for free. I also understand the only way Amazon will price match the free price is if they are "notified" by folks other than the author that the book is free on iTunes and Kobo. Smashwords doesn't register a blip to them! So, if anyone would like to "narc" me out to Amazon, that would be cool!

Also, for just this Read an eBook Week, I will be offering Fractured Facade at 25% off on Smashwords. Simply enter the code REW25 at checkout. At least there are some reviews there, and for more in-depth info and reviews of both books, feel free to visit my website.

As always...thanks for all your support!