"Grief starts to become indulgent, and it doesn't serve anyone, and it's painful. But if you transform it into remembrance, then you're magnifying the person you lost and also giving something of that person to other people, so they can experience something of that person." -- Patti Smith
With over 50 years of shared memories of my beloved cousin, it's hard to pull the best ones...they're all "the best ones." But I know John Paul would agree with me when I say music has always been one of our strongest bonds.
From Boris Karloff singing "You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch," through our bubblegum days of dancing to the Archies and Tommy James, through our first rock concerts -- The Who, Queen, Peter Frampton, The Stones -- whether sitting in the last row of Madison Square Garden, or sitting in the first row of the Bottom Line enthralled by Bruce Springsteen, or in a dank club on the Lower East Side, mesmerized by Television, Talking Heads, and Blondie, music was our life. When the 6'7" gentle giant took me to the floor to dance, whether it be squirming to Otis' The Worm, or pogoing to The Ramones, everyone cleared it for us. He was the best dance partner I ever had.
Together we discovered Patti Smith, who changed our lives, so I start this post with Patti's words and end it with two Patti songs...
this maze of being
not any cry
so mournful that
the dove just laughs
the steadfast gasps"
"and if there's one thing
could do for you
you'd be a wing
in heaven blue"
Godspeed John Paul, you're with me always. And if there's any comfort I can find from your death, it's in knowing you'll be there for me when it's my time...