Fractured Facade

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Friday, January 17, 2014

My RA Story- Part 6 - Is It a Miracle?

So, when I went for my follow-up with the new rheumatologist she said, "Okay, I looked at all your tests and I don't know how you are going to take this, but I don't think you have rheumatoid arthritis. Nothing points to it." My reply, "Oh my God, that's what I thought too after looking at all the tests. Could it just be in remission?" "No, if you had it and it was in remission you would still have the markers, which I'm really not seeing." "So, are you saying that I've been on chemotherapy for 3 1/2 years for nothing? And why would my other doctor feel Enbrel was so necessary?" "I can't say. You have some symptoms that could be RA, but based on these numbers I have my doubts." "So what do I have?" And that my friends is the question that still needs to be answered.

First things first is to rule out RA, and getting off Methotrexate is the first step. She decreased my dosage to 4 pills a week for two weeks and then zero after that. She said it would take 8 weeks for the MTX to be totally out of my system. She wanted me to return then to see how my body was handling it, and if I noticed any difference. Well it's been 4 weeks since I popped those pills and I feel absolutely no worse, and yes, maybe even a little better because I'm not so fatigued from them. Or maybe I feel better because she prescribed Meloxican, a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug, to take as needed. Over the last month, I have taken it 8 times.

She recommended I get arthritis gloves which I found in the form of crafter's gloves which are tight gloves that have the finger tips cut off. I wear them when my hands are aching. She also suggested I get a paraffin wax bath which my husband got me for Christmas. I've used it twice and both times I have scalded my hands. It's literally dipping your hands in hot melted wax a couple of times and then putting plastic over your hands and placing them in mitts for about 15 minutes. The fun part is peeling all the wax off your hands. It reminds me of when I used to put Elmer's Glue on my palms, wait for it to dry, and then peel it off. Only this is more painful. The first time is the worst. Each additional dip isn't as bad as the wax is hardening and getting thicker with each layer to protect your skin. Of course, underneath that first layer your skin might have third degree burns.  There is no regulator on the bath, so it's just freaking hot wax which is almost boiling. I probably should Google the process as I'm probably doing something wrong.

But along with one tablet of Flexeril at night that's it. That's all I've been doing. Altough I'm not pain free, it seems to be more bearable. So now here I am wondering what the hell has happened? You have no idea how much that Methotrexate has fucked me up. And if my spidey sense hadn't alerted me to seek out someone else I could very well be shooting myself up with something even worse. And all these crazy thoughts go through my mind. Have I been taking it all these years for no reason? Did I ever have Rheumatoid Arthritis to begin with? Was I miraculously healed when I went to Padre Pio's Shrine and asked him to heal me, or when I sent in the prayer cards and put that down as one of the intentions besides praying for my loved ones, or maybe when I said this prayer while rubbing his holy oil into my hands and feet...

Padre Pio - I just noticed his gloves are similar to the ones I'm wearing

Most blessed and beloved St. Pio, you were chosen to glorify the crucified Jesus Christ through the visible wounds of the Cross that you bore for 50 years. And like our Lord Jesus, you demonstrate your great love by sharing the many gifts bestowed upon you -- especially the gift of intercession.

Because of your great friendship with the Lord, He responds to your requests and blesses those who you bless.

I now add my prayer to the many offered to you every day by those who seek your help to obtain healings and consolations, earthly and spiritual blessings, and peace for body, mind and soul.

In your caring kindness, bless my loved ones and me, and intercede for this special request...(Here's where you mention your petition.)

In your great love, St Pio, please continue to pray with us and for us. Amen.

I do believe in miracles but was it one, or, was it a misdiagnosis? I don't know. Hopefully I'll know more in a month from now.

By the way, I highly recommend printing out the above prayer in case you know someone who needs it. It can't hurt, and who knows, maybe it might surprise you.


  1. I am glad you're feeling better!

  2. Thanks Anita...I'm feeling a little better but last night I felt like nails were being pounded into the top of my feet and hands. It was so weird. I'm hoping it was just the change of weather.