Seinfeld in Roanoke

After seeing Jerry Seinfeld last night, I now know what it means when you get seats "in the pit" at the Roanoke Performing Arts Center...the chairs you will be sitting on, are the pits. Although they were technically the "best seats in the house" first row, center stage, they were probably the most uncomfortable ones...four kitchen chairs from a 1970's set squished together. Based on the price we paid, had Jerry noticed, I'm sure he could have worked it into his routine.

The opening act, Mario Joyner, did comment on the "lavish" set of the RCC..."Wow, I see you went all out. Nice black curtain." When he began his act I had a hard time hearing him through the PA and thought to myself, "Oh shit, the sound is going to the back and is muddled up here. This sucks." Luckily when Jerry hit the stage the audio got better and I didn't have to read his lips.

Being that close to the stage is a definite boom as I was able to see Seinfeld's facial expressions during his routine. Jerry is one of the few comedians that can make an audience laugh without being vulgar. His new material focused on social media, being married, everyday minutiae, including weather forecasting, and the annoying scroll bar across the bottom of television screens. "If I want to read, I'll pick up a comic book."

He did a bit on movie theatres now asking the patrons to pick up the trash off the floor and said something to the effect that there's an agreement that the theatre over-charges us for snacks, and in return we are able to just drop them on the floor when we are finished. I feel the same way about us not being able to take pictures at his show. We pay a lot for tickets and in return we are able to get a few shots with our phone camera. Clearly I have a crappy one.

After his routine, he came back on stage and took questions from the audience. As a former New Yorker, I'm too "cool" to ask anything, (once I rode an elevator with my idol, Patti Smith, and pretended I didn't know who she was) although if I did, I probably would have asked, "Are you going to team up with Larry David again?" or "Why didn't you take Colin Quinn with you to Roanoke" or "Is your Brooklyn show with Quinn going to have different material?" or "What film did you see at the Grandin Theatre today?"

Instead, the questions he got from the audience was, "What do you think about flying?" and "Can I take a picture with you?" and "Did you ever do Elaine?" After that last one, he had to explain to the audience, just like he had to the last time he was in Roanoke, that Elaine, George, Kramer et al, were fictional characters. Apparently no one was asking him the questions he thought he would get asked, so he volunteered some answers such as his favorite Seinfeld episodes.

Seinfeld seemed to really enjoy himself last night, was quite animated, and even remarked that he thought it was a really good show. Based on the applause and standing ovation, so did the audience. My only complaint about the show, besides the actual chairs, was that it was too short. Was it worth the $82 per ticket? Absolutely...

Two Free Days Left!

My KDP Select enrollment for The Valentine's Day Curse ends next week. I still had two free days left so decided not to make them "go to waste." Today and tomorrow you can save your 99cents and download it free from Amazon.

Not sure if you'll like it or not? Check out some of the reviews by clicking here. They follow Fractured Facade's reviews.

In an attempt to get at least one download from each country here are the direct links for The Valentine's Day Curse...just click on your country:

United States
United Kingdom
Germany
France
Spain
Italy

Italy, you're the last hold-out!!!!

Loosening the Strings

When I found out my daughter was beginning her first year of college with 42 credits I was pretty astounded. Between dual enrolled classes, and a slew of AP classes and exams, she worked her ass off. The whipped cream is she was granted an academic scholarship which will take care of most of her classes. The cherry on top is she'll be graduating with a degree in Spring 2013. And that's on a pretty light schedule. Although she was accepted in the Honors Program, she will not be able to achieve the highest award on her diploma, as there's not enough honor classes available to her with her schedule.

She also finally got someone to respond to a job application, and after a couple of interviews she was hired as a hostess at a popular "Italian" food chain. This will be in addition to her weekly Saturday cleaning gig at the lake. Although I am happy and proud of her achievements, I find I am also sad. I know it's selfish of me to feel this way, but I do.

Finishing school a year early means she will be leaving home a year earlier. Richmond is far from home. When she graduates, I suspect she'll move even further from home to New York City. I understand, but I'm still going to miss her. I'm still going to worry about her.

I have to keep telling myself she's not a little kid anymore. She and her friend looked like Thelma and Louise as they pulled away from the house. Headed on a vacation. Two girls driving down the freeway. I wished I could have fit in her suitcase. Bella didn't want her to go either. She climbed into the suitcase. When she got scooted out of it, and the suitcase was closed, she shit on top of it. Bella's not as subtle as I am.

I was a little concerned they didn't have a GPS system, Mapquest directions, or even a map, so I found one and right before they left I went over the route with them. I don't think they were paying attention. I was assured I shouldn't worry as they had directions. After they left the house, they called and asked, "Ummmm, how do we get to I-40?" Hmmmm. At last text message they've made it to I-40, hopefully going in the right direction.

This week will be good practice for me. Smaller doses of separation, before the inevitable one. I'm not ready to cut the strings, but I am ready to loosen them. Really, I have no choice.

The Light, The Match, The Spark

Recently I unearthed a huge plastic bin filled with a treasure trove of words. Many of them were written in the early seventies through the late eighties. Below is a poem I found that was written in the 80's when I worked near 53rd & 3rd in NYC. That particular block was noted as a place where men met other men, and memorialized in a Ramones song.



Oftentimes, I would meet my cousin or friend for lunch at a local park. Sitting on a bench while waiting, I would often see "the dance" and I guess I wrote a poem about it. It could use some editing, but I wanted to post it as it was originally written. Glancing quickly through other sheets of songs and poems I re-discovered, it seems a lot of my writings during that period were quite dark...

The Light, The Match, The Spark

The queerboy struts the walk
so pink and white and clean
He moves oh so graceful
with the dandelions swaying in the green
The three piece suit sitting on a bench
glances through the latest mystery
His manicure lowers the book
over the top he watches him through the tree
Radar makes the queerboy stop
lean and light up a cigarette
The game is on, the book drops down
it's time that they met
The light, the match, the spark
has nothing to do with the heart
The light, the match, the spark
gotta release all of his hard
Circle Line cruises the river
so long and hard and steady
With a twinkle he flicks his butt
I think now he's ready
The three piece suit loosens his tie
stretches with his arms open wide
The queerboy smiles, walks to the bench
and whispers, "Why don't we go inside?"
The brown bag lunch is dropped in the can
they stroll towards the deep, dark escape
The three piece suit never saw
the shiny steel go through his nape

Comments on Freebies- Part 1

"I keep dowloading free books, what a great idea. I wish you would have more free Historical European fiction"

"Thank you for so many good books! It feels strange to download stuff to my kindle that I know I won't be able to read for about a year because of all the other great stuff I previously downloaded!"

"I'm downloading fasterr than I'm reading ....giddyup! Thanks!"

"Can NEVER find anything I would like to read...."

"I was waiting for that to come back for free. It looked good and had a lot of great reviews. Picked it up today. Thanks!"

"I'll be dead before I have time to read all these great books!! Thank you!"

"What happened to mystery/thrillers?"

"thanks but want more romance"

"Its like getting a gift everyday!!! Love to read and the free boks are absolutely wonderful. Wish when I finished them I could pass them to someone else though. Thanks and keep them coming."

"Snagged 2 more.. I am sooo addicted to buying books.. I do not know if I will have time to read them all.. lol"

"Im always watching and waiting for the posts! thanks"

"I've gotten so many free books, I can't keep up! Amazon had to remind me that I already purchased 2 out of the 3 listed! Lol"

"I was waiting for Amazon to make this one free!"

The above statements are just a couple of comments left on two popular Free eBook Facebook notifications sites, ENT and POI. When an author gets either of these two sites to announce their book is free, downloads will be in the thousands. As an author, I thank them...actually I should just thank ENT because POI has never picked me up. But, I don't think most readers realize that these two sites are not the ones who are giving away free books, nor is Amazon.

So...no matter how many times someone will "request" a certain genre (ummm, you know you could always buy a book in that genre!) both of those sites are dependent upon the genres they are provided by the author of those fine freebies. I don't think I've ever read a comment from someone thanking the authors for making their work free. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, I just haven't read it.

To be continued...

Something Moved the Camera

Apparently our resident raccoon was waiting until the koi and goldfish grew to main entree sizes instead of mere appetizers. Our pond has been undisturbed for months until my husband opened his mouth and remarked that he thought "the old guy" must have bitten the dust. Well, apparently he hasn't for the night before last he pretty much emptied the pond of anything over an inch long. That included three nice-sized koi.

So, it was time to pull out the game camera again and see what we are dealing with. Below are two shots, neither of which shows any animal but does show the aftermath of something swimming in the pond as evidenced by the water all along the front of the stones. Now, here's the strange thing...notice both shots and where the camera is set up.

On this first shot you can see some sort of strange blue mists on top and an orange mist to the right. What is it? I have no idea.

Now, notice this picture which was taken a couple of hours later.

The camera is not in the same position as the first shot. You can see more foreground in the second one than the first one. Something moved the camera...weird.

Summertime Blues

No matter what I do, I just can't shake 'em...

Guest Seeks to Make A Difference for Kids With Autism

Today I'd like to bring you a guest post from fellow author and mom, Nicole Storey-Bailey regarding Autism. Thank you Nicole for sharing... 

Making a Difference for Kids with Autism

When my son was diagnosed with autism at the age of three, I was devastated and lost. I had no idea who to turn to for help. Thankfully, a dear friend advised me to go on the web and search for autism support sites. I did, and found many parents treading the same turbulent waters. I was no longer alone.

It is charities such as The GreaterGood Network at The Autism Site that help parents to believe their children can do more, be more, than the doctors dictate. This charity helps to fund therapy for children with autism: Speech, Sensory Integration, Cognitive/Behavioral, Diet, and so many more.

For the month of July, a percentage of the sales from my books will be donated to The GreaterGood Network to help provide autistic children with the help they need to thrive.

I would love it if you could give just a few dollars and download an eBook or perhaps buy a paperback. Together, we can make a difference for children with autism! Thank you so very much!

Nicole Storey-Bailey
Click here for The GreaterGood Network

Click here for Nicole Storey's Amazon Author Page

Click here for Nicole Storey's Smashwords Page

Freedom Tower Progress July 2012

Until today, if you used the search words "Freedom Tower Progress" and you wound up on this blog...this is what you saw...a photo from April, 2011.

Today this is what you'll see...now that's progress, baby! Thanks to my cousin for taking these great shots...

Man, I miss New York City!

Back on Smashwords

After I received my royalty check from Amazon I had misgivings about not re-enrolling Fractured Facade in its Select program. After all, the majority of that check came from sales garnered after I gave away almost 10,000 copies for free...but that was a couple of months ago. The last freebie's downloads of over 3,500 more copies did not justify the amount of sales that came afterwards. And as far as borrows went, I got a measly one.

Still, it was a nice chunk of change and I wondered if I was shooting myself in the keyboard by abandoning Amazon's ship. I still didn't re-publish on Smashwords so I thought, "Hmmm, let me see if I could generate some action by having a spur of the moment, one day freebie of The Valentine's Day Curse, which is still enrolled in Select. I didn't expect much as I knew the main sites of ENT and POI would not post it as they need a couple of weeks notice and I never submitted it to them.

As I've stated before, I have begun to believe that the free eBooks carrot is losing its appeal since everyone is giving their books away. After reading comments left on posts from ENT and POI from readers thanking them (ummm, how about thanking the author who is the person responsible for the free book?) and writing, they love, love, love the free books and will NEVER pay for a book again, I began to dwell more on this practice. Although the free seems to work well for those books that are part of a series, and for prolific writers who have many books out, I fear my time may have come and passed.

I wondered if the 5 day free promotions and ability for prime members to borrow my book was still worth the 90 day exclusive period, yet I still couldn't bring myself to hit republish on Smashwords! The nail in Amazon's Select program came yesterday, before my lousy results were even done on the spur of the moment freebie, via a glance at their welcome screen. On it they were touting that prime members can now borrow for free all the Harry Potter books, as well as New York Times bestsellers and I wondered something...does that mean those books are part of the Select program, and if so, do they also have to abide by the exclusivity clause same as I do?. I checked, and nope, they don't. So I did some more checking of other bestsellers. Nope, they are available everywhere else too, no exclusivity for them either.

Now, I'm no Rowlings or Collins, but it peeves me that they get to play by different rules than I do. I think my borrows may have halted because those "popular" more expensive books are there for the taking. And I could totally understand that, but it still bothers me that Amazon changed the rules for "some" authors. I know it's their game and their board, but it's my game piece, so for now I've taken my piece off the board. I hit re-publish on Smashwords! I've already been approved for their premium catalogue as well.

This time thought I want to go only into Barnes & Noble. Apple products can be downloaded via Amazon already. Kobo has just made a deal with Japan and soon will be offering authors a way to publish directly with them in their store, so I'll wait for that. As far as Sony goes, nope, it took too long to get them to remove my book. Same with Diesel and no sales on either site. No also for the Baker & Taylor library which only pays 45% royalty for one book and nothing when someone checks it out. Smart phone apps? I'll keep that via Amazon as well.

I figure I'll give my experiment three months, the same as the exclusivity clause in KDP Select. If I feel I'm not getting the results I want I'll unpublish again and re-enroll, just in time for Christmas. That's what's great about being an Indie...I can make my own decisions and changes whenever I want, and if I'm wrong, I can change it again.

So Nook readers, you can download directly via Smashwords now, or, you can wait until it arrives in Barnes & Noble. I hope you show up to the game...

Tired of the Brown Bar

Just because I'm tired of looking at the brown bar of shame, The Valentine's Day Curse is going to be free on Amazon today. You know what, I don't even care how many people download it, as long as there's at least one of you. Hate that freaking bar...

Happy Birthday America!

Happy Birthday America! Stay safe everyone...those sparklers can really burn ya!

eBook Card Follow Up

The other day a guest post of mine entitled, "May I Have Your Card?" ran on Indies Unlimited. If you're a writer, and not familiar with Indies Unlimited, you need to be. It's a great site.

Anyway, the piece I wrote was about my use of an eBook business card for marketing and promotion...cheap and effective, not me, the card. I'm not the first person to use these cards and after speaking with some other writers I wanted to follow up with some more good ideas.

For instance, say like most authors, you have more than one book you want to promote. Rather than making individual cards for each book, I suggested the front of the card have a "bookshelf" with the titles on it and on the inside a link to the author's webpage and/or Amazon page, etc. Easy peasy.

Another author had a great idea -- "I have a suggestion about those cards. I did this too, plus I added a QR code on it. I put it on brochures/flyers too. People love the idea of putting their smart phones to work. That way a person is directed exactly where you want them and it's less you have to put on the card." I really need to upgrade from a flip-phone!

Someone else commented how he was on the check-out line and the cashier remarked how she couldn't wait to get home and just read a book. He wished he had brought cards with him as that was the perfect opportunity to suggest she check out his.

The other day as I was waiting to testify for someone, I was stuck in a conference room for two hours with a woman who was going to testify for the opposing side. We struck up a conversation and hit it off. By the end of the two hours she had my card in her hand and that evening I do believe she was the person who downloaded a copy of Fractured Facade. Thank you!

No matter how you design and use the cards the most important lesson is to always have one with you...hey, you never know where that sale will come from.