Monday, June 11, 2012
Lost and Found Birthday
For as long as I could remember, my birthday has filled me with sadness. I couldn't even tell you why, although I have my suspicions. This year I decided I wouldn't ruin the day and wallow in pity. Instead, I will embrace the fact I'm still alive and reflect upon the past year...it's a lost and found birthday.
*I lost my beloved Welsh Corgi Max, and recently found a psycho Malti-Zhu.
*I lost my beloved cousin, JP, and haven't found anything to replace him.
*I found extra weight that is a struggle to lose.
*I found out my biopsy was negative.
*I lost a lot of hair and energy due to the chemo treatments, not for cancer, but for rheumatoid arthritis.
*I found ways around being unable to use my hands to their full capacity, ie. screw-top wine bottles and coaster brakes.
*I found that I was able to complete my goal of finishing and publishing my book, "Fractured Facade" as well as a short story, that didn't tear my heart out to write like my first book did.
*I lost my patience (only in my mind) with some readers who have been too judgemental regarding my life. I found those who prefer Christian books have been the most intolerant.
*I found joy in the knowledge that my story touched other readers' hearts, and thankful to those that have reached out to me.
*I lost respect for some people I thought would be more supportive of me, but found strength in the realization that they could only affect me if I allowed them to.
*I found cutting negative people out of my life is a positive step.
*I lost my desire to "try and fit in" and found what I've always known deep inside...I'm not for everyone and I don't need to be.
*I found as long as I keep in touch with my New York friends, or immerse myself in a good book, I will never feel alone.
*I found it's important to be a "friend" to your kids, but more important to be a "mother" first.
*I found what I've always known...my husband and kids love and support me unconditionally, and I feel the same way about them. Everything else is just gravy...