Fractured Facade

"A fathers death...a daughter's life...a sociopath's vendetta...FRACTURED FACADE ...a novel written as memoir. Only $4.99 and available exclusively on Amazon. Kindle Unlimited members read for free! Click here for direct link.


THE VALENTINE'S DAY CURSE -- A Short Story, also Free on Amazon for Kindle Unlimited readers or $.99 to buy! Click here for direct link!

Thursday, August 6, 2015

My Eyes Are Opened

If we're friends in "real life" or on Facebook you already know the good news...according to the MRI results, my daughter does NOT have bone cancer. The radiologist compared last year's MRI with last week's, and except for some bone issues near the ankle, there is nothing "unusual," and any tumors present in that leg have not become malignant.

Needless to say, we are beyond the moon that she will not have to undergo treatment for bone cancer. She will need some surgery near the ankle which will hopefully alleviate the pain radiating up the leg. After thinking you have cancer for three weeks, any surgery spoken of, which in the past would have caused depression, is now something to look forward to, especially if they are able to straighten her leg at the same time. We have an appointment in a couple of weeks with another orthopedic surgeon to talk further on what this would entail, and if she/we are comfortable with him.

The doctor we saw yesterday felt the person who read the first X-rays from Doctor's Express was not familiar with her condition, or her history, and should never have told her she had cancer, over the phone, by the way. I doubt she will ever use that doc-in-the-box again.

The last couple of weeks have been horrible. The more she Googled, the more she was convinced she was dying. I stopped Googling after determining which hospitals across the country would be the best place for bone cancer treatments. I still had hope that she was a victim of the "new doctors in July" scenario. Apparently on July 1st many doctors, radiologists, medical personnel, etc. who have just graduated or finished up their internships begin their careers, and July is the month where most mistakes are made in the medical field. Once her blood work came back with all results in the "normal" range, I was even more convinced that she probably just had a dope read the X-ray and she did not have cancer. Surely, the white blood cell levels would be higher if they were fighting something. To be sure, I called on Padre Pio for divine intervention. Hey, it works for me.

After her appointment yesterday, the first person she called was her dad, and these are tears of relief.

We went to a local restaurant so she could eat something before going into work. During all this trauma, she has missed only one day of work. She couldn't have a celebratory drink because two weeks ago she had her wallet STOLEN AGAIN! This time she didn't notice quick enough and they cleaned out her bank account. Unbelievable. It was the last thing she needed, but in a way it was a distraction as it took her mind off her health problems. She is working with a detective to catch them because criminals are stupid, and don't realize you're pretty much on camera wherever you go, so it's only a matter of time before all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed hopefully resulting in arrests.

When you have a scare like this it sort of makes you look differently at things, puts what's important in perspective, and makes one question certain things. People have said they are praying for her. What makes one person's prayers answered while another one's not? I've known other people who have had many, many, more people, church people, praying for them, and they themselves are "good Christians" yet it didn't matter. I've heard people say "good things happen to good people." I say bullshit. Bad things happen to "good people" too. If she ended up having bone cancer, would that mean she wasn't a "good person?" And how could she have been a "bad person" when she was first diagnosed at 1 1/2 years old with this horrible chronic condition? I've seen good things happen to "bad people" as well. And if someone uses that expression on themselves, I could probably point out at least a couple of things about them that does not make them 100% "good." I know they might mean well when they say it to me, but, no, I don't like that statement at all.

What I do like are these two statements, "Be thankful for the bad things in life, for they open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before," and "The things you take for granted someone else is praying for."

My eyes are opened... 

I'd like to share something my daughter posted on her Facebook wall last week, under this photo:

Everything about this hits home for me, right down to the old lady in the wheel chair. It's been a rough month for me with my leg, physically and mentally. Most people who are "healthy", or never had to deal with a severe or chronic medical condition, can not truly grasp how hard it is to retain the daily "status quo" routines while at the same time battling something that is completely out of their control. Going against what your body dictates you can or can not do is a whole other level of going against what your parents/significant other/friends/etc say you can or can not do. Instead of getting grounded for going to a party, you're bed ridden for what could wind up to be days because you wanted to go to work. Instead of missing out on activities because your parents took your phone, you miss out on activities because your body won't let you hike, or run, or do anything that involves more physical activity than just walking in a mall. Most people don't see the struggle, they don't see the pain, they don't see the amount of effort it takes to do the basic every day tasks, like working or walking down the street to get milk, or even going down or up a flight of stairs. All they see is how slow you all of a sudden became at doing their job, or their limp that sticks out like a sore thumb, or how they have to go up one stair at a time, pause, pep talk themselves, and go up the next stair. Or they see a wheel chair, crutches, leg braces. And God forbid you're young and need to use the motorized scooter to get your groceries. Then all they see is a lazy "child" who thinks its funny to ride around. Last week, I was walking, or rather limping, down the street when someone I knew, very close, started shouting at me about my limp, making fun of it, telling me to walk faster. As soon as I turned around and they realized it was ME, the person they've known for years, the person they share secrets with and fears and desires, the person they knew that had a bone deformity and most recently serious concerns with my leg, they stopped and apologized. "I didn't realize it was you". That is NOT an okay excuse. I accepted it as ignorance, but it is actually the worst excuse to ever say. If you know someone in your life who is affected by a medical condition, deformity, disease, disability, or anything of the sort, please please think about that person the next time you see someone who doesn't fit the mold of what you'd consider "normal". Making fun of some one who doesn't resemble yourself is a fleeting subconscious thought, however vocalizing it to that person comes from a place of complete ignorance. I'm not saying this for my benefit, 21 years of dealing and coping and you learn not to focus on the disability and more on all the things you accomplish despite it. When someone focuses on my limp, I focus on how I'm limping to go do what I love, how no limp will ever stop me from directing, doing what I'm passionate about in life, or seeing the people I love. I'm saying this to bring awareness, and also to offer support for those who suffer and persevere through similar situations. Younger generations think the #dontjudgechallenge is drawing all over your face with eyeliner in one frame and the next being dressed to the tens. No. THIS is the REAL #dontjudgechallenge, and if more people would make THIS challenge viral, the world would be one step closer to peace (pun intended).

Thank you all for your support, prayers, well wishes, concerns, and just being there. It means the world to both of us...


  1. I agree with your call on "bullshit" and I'm very happy that your daughter's diagnosis turned out as it did, even if she must have surgery. She is a tough trooper - takes after her mother, I think. I have been thinking of you both (I don't do the prayer thing, but I do think about people when I know they are hurting.)

  2. I am someone who ALWAYS does the prayer thing and I have been including you and the family for a good while. I believe in prayer and I know God listens. He may not answer in the way you want Him to but when he does, it is amazing. I am so happy for this good news!!!

  3. Thank you both...for thinking and praying :)