Sunday, September 28, 2014
I Hate Pumpkin Spice
The one thing I hate more than pumpkins is pumpkin spice. The mere thought of a pumpkin makes me want to puke. I can't stand the smell of them and the slimy innards make me gag. I would never think of buying or, GASP, making a pumpkin pie, and what's the point of pumpkin seeds? Even the dried-out salted ones are pretty useless. Damn, I even hate the color of pumpkin. Who looks good in moldy orange??? Yup, about the only thing worse than pumpkins is being subjected to the two month window of the "wonders" of pumpkin spice. The need to cash in on consumers' (not me) love of this offensive marketing malarky (what the fuck does "spice" even really smell like? -- I can name scores of spices and none of them smell like what is being shoved up our noses) has created some of the oddest and grossest "pumpkin spice" flavors and smells in every product imaginable, and some not imaginable. Why would you ruin chocolate?!
After a post on Facebook the other day complaining about my hatred of pumpkin spice my "friends" have been having a field day posting various pumpkin spice products on my wall. Go ahead check them out. I'll wait. My favorite one thus far is the Pumpkin Spice Tampons. I wonder if that one is true. I wouldn't be surprised.
Anyway, here's a list of 27 Pumpkin Spice Products That Make No Sense At All from Offbeat. The only one I would even consider trying is the nail polish and only if it doesn't smell like pumpkin spice!
What about you? Love it, hate it? What's the worst pumpkin spice product you've seen? And when does it end?!?!?!?!?!